Dan and Vince are two practicing Surrealists parading their art (meaning, "themselves") around the country, from the art scene of NYC to the movie scene (well, not "scene" so much as "scenic painting"...it's on the Paramount lot and two hobos, both named Oliver, incidentially, live behind it with a rat they've trained to dance a soft-shoe and steal food from the commisary) of Los Angeles. And remember: If it doesn't say "Dan & Vince" somewhere on it, it just ain't that Surreal.
Earlier we wrote about Joaquin Phoenix quitting acting, or more likely staging some sort of weird surrealist piece of performance art, the details of which have yet to be revealed...
But then he showed up at a film festival in Los Angeles with the above message written across his fingers.
"Bye! Good"
Hmmm. Well, what does that mean? I've got a few theories:
1. Joaquin thinks that there is nothing wrong with a good enthusiastic good-bye 2. Joaquin is trying to help out the economy by telling us to simply "Buy Goods." Of course, his spelling is all off and the extraneous punctuation makes this a little unbelievable (but only a little...) 3. Joaquin meant to say "Good-bye!" but he's holding his hands out the wrong way- or he wrote on them while looking in the mirror, and if there's one thing that the 2008 election taught us it's that you shouldn't write on yourself while looking in the mirror.
Anyway, this whole thing is weird to me, and I'm a weird dude, I'm also easily duped, but not by this.
Um... Is that a robot? Do we have robots yet? Is it an alien? A ghost? Whatever it is it's damn weird- More interesting than anything David Blaine has done in the last few years- I'd even say it's surreal.
So, Pam Anderson did something surreal. Why does this mean she should receive PSUA's endorsement for the highest office in the country? Well think about it, Barb Wire is, in its own way, a surrealist film, so she's been in the surrealing game for a while. Plus she's got more experience than Sarah Palin- though admittedly not the kind of experience people look for in their future leaders... sexy experience...
In conclusion, we're not ready to endorse anyone yet- but this is an interesting turn of events...
Vince and I are surrealists and we're very interested in the subconscious, so it probably comes as no surprise that we've been experimenting with lucid writing- for the past 7 years.
For the past 7 years, we've both been trying, notebooks next to the bed, ready to go, jotting down our last thoughts before falling asleep and our first thoughts when we get up. We've dedicated ourselves to it and we make sure we write every night and every morning. And you know what we have to show for it? Nothing. Well, not nothing, just nothing good.
Jokes with no punchlines, disturbing fantasies, and warped memories of high school. That's it. Well, that and 56 straight pages of "Buy Soup Mix."
Let me give you an example, here's what I wrote this morning. I'm only sharing because it seemed to take the form of a blog entry.
09.04.08
We see a lot of famous people/locations here in LA, because it's where all the famous people/things are, there's no point in bragging. If I told you I saw Natalie Portman at the store buying soup, you'd say you saw John Dillinger or Matthew McConaughey eating soup once. Everyone always has a better story. Until now. Today, while riding the bus, I looked down at the street beneath me and I saw the wheels on the bus... they were going round and round. That's right, I was on the bus made famous in the classic song. The bus with the wheels that go round and round, and I know it was the bus because everyone on it was (note to self: look up what the people on the bus were doing according to the song). Anyone can see an artist, today I saw a muse.
It's been stated again and again that our current celebrity culture of paparazzis, gossip blogs, and most importantly people who are famous simply because they are famous, is essentially the world that Andy Warhol predicted. And it's true.
For example, one of the top stories on TMZ today is a video of Regis Philbin in a parking lot. (Watch it here)
Okay, did you seriously just click on that link? Did you consider it? Because I don't know if you were reading the previous sentence, but it's video of Regis Philbin in a parking garage- he's walking to his car, he says he just saw a good show... that's it! That's all it is!
If I were to have experienced this event first-hand, like I was actually in the parking garage and I saw Regis and he said "I just saw a good show" and then I told you about it, what would your reaction be? My guess is you would say "Um, alright, that's nice- I guess, you want to get something to eat?" I don't think you would say "No way! I do not believe you! That is unbelievable, I am going to have to see some video of that shit!"
Or maybe you would, I don't know... anyway, it's there if you want it.
So what's the difference between these streaming video of Regis Philbin in a parking garage or Paris Hilton renting a video and Warhol's films of Edie Sedgwick sitting on a bed or Nico combing her hair?
Well, Nico and Edie are much more interesting than Regis and Paris and you have to sit through ads (seriously) to watch the untitled "Regis in Parking Lot" film at TMZ, but the main difference is that these new TMZ films have no style while Warhol's films had this great, locked-down, dadaist anti-aesthetic.
I guess you could make the argument that TMZ's "films" have a sort of hand-held cinema verite style, but would you seriously want to make that effort?
Paparazzi videos are not art. Or they weren't- until today... Check out a still from this video of Amy Winehouse doing drugs...
Look at those colors! You can watch the whole video here.
Now of course, this is from the UK... so I say to all of the American paparazzi, all of you who went out to Hollywood with a PD-150 thinking you were going to be the next Robert Rodriguez, but realized that instead you get an easier paycheck if you chase Britney Spears with a camera and scream questions at her until she finally comments on Estelle Getty's death, to you, I say:
1. This is it for you, the only job you'll ever have. No one is ever going to produce your screenplay about the witty hitman who likes to quote Tsui Hark films. What's that you say? Your script includes notes about which obscure songs should be included on the soundtrack? And you can also shoot, direct, and edit it yourself? And everyone wears suits? Well then maybe I'm wrong, but let's assume I'm not...
2. So while you're stuck in your gutter, at least try to make some art every once in a while. Harvey Levin may not care what your video looks like, but Andy does... and he's looking down on you from artist heaven (the low-rent part of heaven, which will be filled with over-priced condos in about 10 years...) hoping you don't let him down...
We (Dan. Vince.) are two practicing Surrealists, originally from Texas, but now parading our art (meaning, "us") around the country, from the rarefied art scene of NYC to the more proletariat movie scene (well, not "scene" so much as "scenic painting"...we've seen it, it's on the Paramount lot and two hobos, both named Oliver, incidentially, live behind it with a rat they've trained to dance a soft-shoe and steal food from the commisary) of Los Angeles. And remember: If it doesn't say "Dan & Vince" somewhere on it, it just ain't that Surreal.
