Dan and Vince are two practicing Surrealists parading their art (meaning, "themselves") around the country, from the art scene of NYC to the movie scene (well, not "scene" so much as "scenic painting"...it's on the Paramount lot and two hobos, both named Oliver, incidentially, live behind it with a rat they've trained to dance a soft-shoe and steal food from the commisary) of Los Angeles. And remember: If it doesn't say "Dan & Vince" somewhere on it, it just ain't that Surreal.
Surrealists Dan and Vince bust through the door and begin flipping over tables.
Poe! Amos Poe! Is Amos Poe in here? Where is he? Somebody bring me that No Wave motherfucker! He's on my list! And not my Christmas list- my other list- my shit list! It's right here. It says:
End of list. Anyway we're here to talk to Poe about his 2007 film Empire 2. The trailer's embedded at the top of the page, give it a watch, we'll wait...
When I watched that trailer I felt like I had already seen it before- but, c'mon a sequel to Andy Warhol's Empire- I know I haven't seen that before- unless... I saw it inside my own brain!!!
I present EXHIBIT A in the trial of Dan and Vince vs. Amos Poe. Here is a clip from an interview I did in 2001...
You think you dada, Poe? You ain't dada! You ain't nothin'! This ain't over Poe!
Rachael Maddow makes some good points (in terms of this being dada)- but, let's be honest if you're going to vote based solely on who's more dada, you've got to go with Mike Gravel...
Here is a vintage clip of not-dead actor James Earl Jones on Sesame Street. If this doesn't prove that that show is (or at least, was) the best way for a kid to learn, I'll eat my shoe...
After a long hard day of work, who doesn't like to sit back, pour themselves a scotch and listen to some nice field recordings? It's what Vince and I do to cap off every day of surrealing.
But I must admit that sometimes when listening to something that sounds like a train in the distance on a windy day or someone in tap-shoes walking through an airport, I sometimes think 'I could do this...'
But I never have. Simply because I don't want to join the long list of people who have tried and failed to enter the highly profitable field of experimental field recording. Because unlike traditional music making all the cheap stuff like talent and practice don't amount to anything in the world of field recording, the one thing you need is the expensive recording equipment. Until now.
My friends, what would you say if I told you I had discovered a way to create field recordings inside of the series of tubes commonly referred to as the interwebs?
It's been stated again and again that our current celebrity culture of paparazzis, gossip blogs, and most importantly people who are famous simply because they are famous, is essentially the world that Andy Warhol predicted. And it's true.
For example, one of the top stories on TMZ today is a video of Regis Philbin in a parking lot. (Watch it here)
Okay, did you seriously just click on that link? Did you consider it? Because I don't know if you were reading the previous sentence, but it's video of Regis Philbin in a parking garage- he's walking to his car, he says he just saw a good show... that's it! That's all it is!
If I were to have experienced this event first-hand, like I was actually in the parking garage and I saw Regis and he said "I just saw a good show" and then I told you about it, what would your reaction be? My guess is you would say "Um, alright, that's nice- I guess, you want to get something to eat?" I don't think you would say "No way! I do not believe you! That is unbelievable, I am going to have to see some video of that shit!"
Or maybe you would, I don't know... anyway, it's there if you want it.
So what's the difference between these streaming video of Regis Philbin in a parking garage or Paris Hilton renting a video and Warhol's films of Edie Sedgwick sitting on a bed or Nico combing her hair?
Well, Nico and Edie are much more interesting than Regis and Paris and you have to sit through ads (seriously) to watch the untitled "Regis in Parking Lot" film at TMZ, but the main difference is that these new TMZ films have no style while Warhol's films had this great, locked-down, dadaist anti-aesthetic.
I guess you could make the argument that TMZ's "films" have a sort of hand-held cinema verite style, but would you seriously want to make that effort?
Paparazzi videos are not art. Or they weren't- until today... Check out a still from this video of Amy Winehouse doing drugs...
Look at those colors! You can watch the whole video here.
Now of course, this is from the UK... so I say to all of the American paparazzi, all of you who went out to Hollywood with a PD-150 thinking you were going to be the next Robert Rodriguez, but realized that instead you get an easier paycheck if you chase Britney Spears with a camera and scream questions at her until she finally comments on Estelle Getty's death, to you, I say:
1. This is it for you, the only job you'll ever have. No one is ever going to produce your screenplay about the witty hitman who likes to quote Tsui Hark films. What's that you say? Your script includes notes about which obscure songs should be included on the soundtrack? And you can also shoot, direct, and edit it yourself? And everyone wears suits? Well then maybe I'm wrong, but let's assume I'm not...
2. So while you're stuck in your gutter, at least try to make some art every once in a while. Harvey Levin may not care what your video looks like, but Andy does... and he's looking down on you from artist heaven (the low-rent part of heaven, which will be filled with over-priced condos in about 10 years...) hoping you don't let him down...
As our loyal readers well know, Dan has been offering up a series of blogs called "Great Moments in Wikipedia Vandalism" for months now. He spends hours upon hours that might be more productively spent sleeping (where do you think a Surrealist's ideas come from?), fooding, YouTubing, MySpacing, IMing, or banging pots and pans together combing through the 1,989,575 articles on Wikipedia, all for your benefit.
Now it comes to our attention that The Onion has been reading and repurposing Dan's blogs without giving appropriate credit.
Here's the Onion story:
Hard To Tell If Wikipedia Entry On Dada Has Been Vandalized Or Not
August 20, 2007 | Issue 43•34
ZURICH, SWITZERLAND—The Wikipedia entry on Dada—the World War I–era "anti-art" movement characterized by random nonsense words, bizarre photocollage, and the repurposing of pre-existing material to strange and disturbing effect—may or may not have been severely vandalized, sources said Monday.
"This is either totally messed up or completely accurate," said Reed College art history major Ted Brendon. "There's a mustache drawn on the photo of Marcel Duchamp, the font size keeps changing, and halfway through, the type starts going in a circle. Also, the majority of the actual entry is made up of Krazy Kat cartoons with abstract poetry written in the dialogue balloons."
The fact that the web page continually reverts to a "normal" state, observers say, is either evidence that ongoing vandalization is being deleted through vigilant updating, or a deliberate statement on the impermanence of superficial petit-bourgeois culture in the age of modernity.
So a pair of Surrealists run an ongoing column on Wikipedia Vandalism, and all of a sudden a humor magazine runs a piece on Wikipedia Vandalism and Dada? I don't think it takes out-of-the-ordinary mental acuity to see the connection here. Next thing you know, they're going to scoop us on finding the Greatest Pimp in the World.
Mr. Onion, I hope you're happy. I'm having to do this post because I can't get Dan to stop crying. Or, more literally, I can't get him to stop IMing me "boo-hoo. boo-hoo. boo-hoo." It's gotten to where I can't get any work done a-t'all.
We don't object, we merely ask that you cite sources. And by sources, we mean us.
We (Dan. Vince.) are two practicing Surrealists, originally from Texas, but now parading our art (meaning, "us") around the country, from the rarefied art scene of NYC to the more proletariat movie scene (well, not "scene" so much as "scenic painting"...we've seen it, it's on the Paramount lot and two hobos, both named Oliver, incidentially, live behind it with a rat they've trained to dance a soft-shoe and steal food from the commisary) of Los Angeles. And remember: If it doesn't say "Dan & Vince" somewhere on it, it just ain't that Surreal.
