Almost Died

I was walking home last night after doing some Surrealing, and as I crossed a street, a car made a left in front of traffic onto the street I was crossing, and bore down on me, gaining speed, clearly not seeing the red light.

Then the driver slammed on the brakes, they squealed, spit out smoke, rear tires broke loose from the pavement and started to fishtail -- the whole nine -- and I just stood there, watching the car come for me. I maybe had time to move, but I didn't.

Most people, in that situation, their brain and their bodies tell them "Run!" or "Duck!" or "Crap!" But not me. Instead, my body told me to stand up straight, and my brain said this:

"If this is death, I want to look it in the eye. And show it my mean face."

Vince out.

ps. I was ok.

Surrealist Pop...or Regular Crappy Pop?

Today, we heard "the first single from Tinted Windows, the new supergroup featuring Taylor Hanson (of Hanson), James Iha (Smashing Pumpkins), Adam Schlesinger (Fountains of Wayne) and Bun E. Carlos (Cheap Trick)."

It's awful.

We don't know what to make of this, Dan and I, so we leave it up to you guys. Such an odd and eclectic group of musicians (sure, it's not Merzbow and Taylor Hanson, but what is?), it's almost a Surreal combination, right? I mean, if somebody told you all these people were in a band, you'd think that person was kidding, right? When they make boring, by rote pop music, though, does the entire project then become less Surreal?

Dan says yes, I say no. One thing this single proves, though, is that it only takes one Hanson in a band to make that band Hanson.

Anyway, here's the link.

Luis Awards 2010 Already Locked Up?

As you know, we announced the first ever Luis Awards last Friday, during the run-up to the Oscars. Now, most people have been complaining this whole awards season that the Oscar race was too predictable. Sure, Sean Penn got the surprise win over Mickey Rourke, but Slumdog Millionaire and Benjamin Button won everything they were expected to, Kate Winslet won her thing, which everybody expected, Heath Ledger, etc....

It's hard for me to say this, but I think, sadly, the Luis Awards have already fallen into the trap of predictability. I went to see Coraline (in 3-D! Just like our movie!) the day after the Luis Awards, and I'm sorry to say the Luis for Most Unintentionally Surreal Movie in 2010 may already be sewn up.

By this...thing...about super-intelligent guinea pig spies...which has six credited writers...three of whom have won or been nominated for Oscars:


Vince out.

Reader E-mail: "crusade ombidsman meanspirited"

Reader Liza Cheney (possibly related to the former Vice President?) sent us a letter- apparently about a head of state who is on some sort of mean-spirited campaign. This will not stand! Let's get the details...

Bronze Yohn was not there to see; he had already departed from the Eyrie to begin the long descent,He overthrew Prince Rhaegar and named me his queen of love and beauty. I am surprised you doThe sun was almost gone by the time they were done with Maester Aemon. Only a long thin line of

Cool. Thanks for sharing!

Dan

LUIS AWARDS: Most Surreal Film

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and Gentlemen, Dan and Vince!

VINCE: Dan, colon, well it's been a long day huh, Vince, question mark. Vince, colon, Yeah, I'm sure glad it's almost over, period. Dan, colon, only one award left, dramatic pause, Most Surreal Film.

[PRE-RECORDED VIDEO OF DAN AND VINCE AND BRAD PITT STARTS]'

DAN: Lot of surreal movies this year.

VINCE: Yup.

DAN: Brad?

BRAD: Yeah, I've heard about one in particular.

[LAUGHTER]

VINCE: Synecdoche, New York?

[LAUGHTER]

BRAD: No, Vince, actually I was thinking of my film, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

[APPLAUSE]

VINCE: Oh...

DAN: Well, let's see who wins.

VINCE: Brad, will you do the honors.

BRAD: I'd be honored to.

[LAUGHTER]

BRAD: The Luis goes to...

[BRAD OPENS ENVELOPE]

BRAD: The Visioneers?



DAN: Yeah, unlike Synecdoche, New York and your film The Over-long Case of Benjamin Button, The Visioneers didn't get a big theatrical release this year, in fact I'm not even sure it has a distributor yet. But it is awesome and we do hope people get a chance to see it. And it's really important to promote independent film, true independent film, isn't that right, Brad?

[BRAD'S PUBLICIST STEPS IN FROM OUT OF FRAME]

PUBLICIST: We have to stop this now...

VINCE: What do you mean?

PUBLICIST: No. Off. Turn the camera off.

[PRE-RECORDED VIDEO ENDS]

VINCE: Dan, colon, well that was fun, dot, dot, dot, Vince, colon, yeah. good-bye everyone. Dan, colon, This is Dan, Vince, colon, and this is Vince, Dan, colon, and we'll see you right here next year for the, in unison, colon, Luis Awards 2010!

LUIS AWARDS: Most Surreal Performance

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and Gentleman, from the Actor's Studio, please welcome James Lipton.

[APPLAUSE]

JAMES: Who has my keys? Which one of you sons of bitches have my keys? I want my keys!

[PRE-RECORDED VIDEO OF DAN AND VINCE STARTS]

DAN: You ready?

VINCE: Go!

[VINCE BEGINS CHUGGING A GALLON OF WATER]

DAN: I've only got a minute, so I'll keep this quick. Lots of great performances this year. Catherine Deneuve in A Christmas Tale- it was good, but not surreal. Crispin Glover was in a Herschell Gordon Lewis remake... I mean, c'mon...

[VINCE CONTINUES CHUGGING AND SIGNALS FOR DAN TO SPEED UP]

DAN: Even we have to admit that Heath Ledger was amazing as the Joker in The Dark Knight, the kind of performance that jumps off the screen and gives you a totally new perspective on a character that-

[VINCE CAN"T CHUG ANYMORE. DROPS THE GALLON OF WATER. WATER SPRAYS EVERYWHERE. VINCE WALKS AWAY.]

DAN: Um, The Most Surreal Performance this year didn't happen in the movies. It happened in real-life, like all good art in our opinion. We're going to give the award to Samuel Wurzelbacher who played the character of "Joe the Plumber" in the 2008 Election. He's not named Joe, he's not a licensed plumber- and now he's become a political pundit, a member of the press who travels to war-zones and talks about how the press shouldn't be in war-zones. Sam, you so crazy. And while we really appreciate all the zaniness you added to our 2008, we're sort of sick of you and not sure why we had to listen to you in the first place. So take your award and go away. Please.


See you back here in two hours...

Keep Reading LUIS AWARDS: Most Surreal Film...

LUIS AWARDS: Most Unintentionally Surreal Movie

ANNOUNCER: She's a Golden Girl and he's Guerrilla, Ladies and Gentleman please welcome Betty White and Benecio del Toro.

[APPLAUSE]

BENECIO: You know Betty, no one sets out to make a bad movie-

BETTY: Well you wouldn't know it if you went to the movies this year.

[LAUGHTER]

BENECIO: What's the worst thing you saw at the theater in 2008, Betty?

BETTY: Oh, it's the same worst movie I've seen every year- Battlefield Earth. I don't know why I keep watching it...

[LAUGHTER]

BENECIO: Well all the nominees in this category were released this year...

BETTY: And even I won't be watching them again!

[LAUGHTER]

BENECIO: Ladies and Gentleman, the Most Unintentionally Surreal Movie.

[PRE-RECORDED VIDEO OF DAN AND VINCE STARTS]

DAN AND VINCE (speaking in unison): There were a lot of mediocre films this year, and there were a lot of films that weren't as good as we hoped. But there is only two movies that can truly be considered the Most Unintentionally Surreal.

VINCE: That sounds awkward.

DAN: Yeah. We'll re-write it and do it again...

DAN AND VINCE (speaking in unison): So the award this year goes to...

DISASTER MOVIE and MEET THE SPARTANS

These two films replace plot with pastiche and jokes with simple reenactments of scenes from other films. The title of Disaster Movie is completely dadaist- not to mention the fact that it begs its critics to make a joke out of it. A joke which would be funnier than anything in the movie. While Meet the Spartans breaks from the usual Friedberg / Seltzer naming convention, it does show us the brilliant formula they use to make their movies; ONE CRAPPY MOVIE + ANOTHER CRAPPY MOVIE = OUR FILM, WHICH IS REALLY CRAPPY. The more I think about it, the more I think this surrealism may not be so Unintentional after all.


See you back here in two hours...


Keep Reading LUIS AWARDS: Most Surreal Performance...

LUIS AWARDS: Pre-Show

Hey folks, I hope you can hear me over the crowd noise- we're coming to you LIVE from the red carpet outside the Luis Awards, honoring surrealism in films. It's 7AM in LA and the stars should start arriving soon- hey look isn't that @fakecelebrity?

I'm getting word that Vince and the Glam-Cam crew are talking to a certain celebrity. Who you got Vince?

Vince?

Vince?

Alright, we're having some technical problems that we'll try and resolve... it's live TV, folks... uh, in the meantime- um... in the meantime, we've got a schedule of events for today.

In 2 hours we'll be announcing Best Unintentional Surrealism (11AM/9AMp), then we've got Most Surreal Performance after that (1PM/11AMp), then finally Most Surreal Film (3PM/1PMp). Then we'll be self-congratulatory for a while.

This is Dan for Dan and Vince. Check back throughout the day, we'll see you soon.

What's that. I'm sorry folks, I'm getting word that the 'crappy awards show opening' is starting...



Keep Reading LUIS AWARDS: Most Unintentionally Surreal Movie...

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Luis Awards THIS FRIDAY!

The Luis Awards (honoring surrealism) are going to be announced this Friday. There won't be a ceremony, just a blog post- but hey, the Oscars started the EXACT SAME WAY. Or so I say...

Anyway, it's just easier to ignore the ceremony right now, but it is a little sad because that means there won't be any awesome / crazy moments like this...

Marlon Brando's win (Stupid Academy disabled embedding).

Or this...



Or this...



Michael "Soy Bomb" Portnoy, your PSUA membership paperwork is in the mail, and we're currently trying to figure out how to get ODB a posthumous membership...

Anyway, see you here on Friday!

Dan

Kids, Surrealism... Again. Stupid, Fast Internet...

So I was going to post this video Kittens (Inspired by Kittens) and relate it to our post about Capucha's Once Upon a Time... but by the time I got around to it, this damn Kittens video reached full-on screaming meme status! Seriously, just trying to find this video to post I had to go through Kittens (Inspired by Kittens) After the Dentist, Kittens (Yelled at by Christian Bale), and Kittens (Inspired by Kittens) After the Dentist- and OMG, BTW Their Dentist is Christian Bale (which, "btw" just rick-rolls you- I knew it was too good to be true...)

Stupid internet.

Anyway, since this thing is the next Tay Zonday Remix of the Numa Numa Song as Performed by a Lion Reunited with its Original Owner, Who Happens to be the Star Wars Kid and the Lions go 'Youze B R Parentz?!?' and the Kid is Really an Elephant that Paints a Picture of the Leprachaun from the News, and the Same Newscast Hired the Woman Who Fell in the Grapes and the Weather Guy Who's Scared of Bugs, but not the Boom-Goes-the-Dynamite Kid and then This Other Kid There Told Them That he Likes Turtles and Bill O'Reily was like "Do it Live!" and that All Your Base Belong to Him and the Evolution of Dance and, ugh, Boxxy.

Anyway, so here's the thing I was going to post:



Then here's what I was going to write:

Hey... look... this is weird...

I don't have the energy for this. I was beaten to the punch- by literally the entire world. I was just going to say something about how I wondered if this kid is coming up with this stuff or not... I hope so...

Stupid internet.

Next week, the internet is going to begin making memes that reference things that don't even exist yet....

Dan

Buñuel on DVD

We totally dropped the ball on this, which both is and isn't surprising...

It's surprising because it gives us a chance to promote the announcement of our Luis Awards- this Friday, February 20th, right here on this very blog. But it's not surprising because we're not very good at blogging.

Anyway, last Tuesday Criterion released two of Luis Buñuel's best films on DVD.

The Exterminating Angel might be my favorite of Buñuel's films- of course it's so hard to pick a favorite, it would be like picking out which of his kids I like the most (which, for the record, is Juan Luis...). Criterion gives it the two-disc treatment and includes interviews with Silvia Pinal,
Jean-Claude Carrière, and- hey!- Juan Luis Buñuel. Check it out at Criterion's website.

Simon of the Desert is also great. These two films come from my favorite period in Buñuel's filmography, the winning streak that started with Viridana and ended with Belle de Jour this might be the weakest film within that streak, but that would be like saying it's the weakest player on some sports team that's really good (note to self: avoid sports metaphors). Anyway, more on Criterion's website.

Hopefully by posting this today, with the knowledge that most record and video stores reset their sales on Tuesdays when new items come out. You, our faithful readers, can make it to the store and buy these items.

Tell 'em Dan and Vince sent you.

Actually, don't do that. That would be awkward.

Dan

SURREALISM AROUND THE WORLD: Nice Try, Denmark

SURREALISM AROUND THE WORLD: Where Dan and Vince look at other countries and go "What the hell is THAT?"

We've been talking a lot about the Japanese and how their "normal everyday" is pretty much our "Surreal," but we'd like to throw the spotlight on some other countries, as well.

Now, the Danish aren't exactly known for their Surrealist tendencies...I guess their mainly known for their breakfast pastries and that guy Hamlet. But I have to admit, this video is pretty Surreal. Huge domino chains aren't Surreal, and replacing the dominoes with beer bottles isn't Surreal, either. It's just a thing.

But we'd like to applaud the execution of this particular thing. It's the little touches that elevate "colossal waste of time" to "potential Surrealism." Little things like the unexpected music cue from Jaws, the interesting use of surfaces to create something akin to a John Cage soundscape, and then...well, I won't ruin it for you. I'll just say, if you get thirsty, and do what these guys ultimately do to whet your whistle, well, our hats are off to you.

Vince out.

Ps. And just to be clear, our hats are bowler hats. Like Magritte would've wanted.

Drugs and Surrealism

Dan and I don't really have an avowed position on controlled substances except to say this -- when people say that taking a consciousness-altering drug was "surreal," they're wrong. Surrealism, as we've probably talked about before (I mean, right? This seems like the kind of thing we'd talk about), is about two things that don't necessarily belong together colliding unexpectedly. And consciousness-altering drugs sort of render the idea of "unexpected" obsolete.

I mean, this isn't surreal: "Dude, I took a hit of acid and started seeing monkeys climbing all over my walls, and guess what? They all had kazoos and were playing Tool songs...on their kazoos!" This, however, would be: "Dude, I took a hit of acid and didn't see anything weird at all, so I went to the grocery store, bought some soup and stuff, then came home and mowed the yard, then my neighbor came over and we watched SportsCenter." Clearly, without the drugs context, the first scenarios seems defintely stranger than the second, but when you factor in drug use, the potential for Surrealism really starts to drop off.

All of that said, drugs can produce Surrealism, but the context has to be somehow Surreal -- someone unexpected on a hallucinogen, for instance. Like this seven-year-old boy who lives on YouTube.



Vince out.

Poor Dave (and links to Bill Hicks)

As Dan posted earlier, we feel a little bad for David Letterman because he does seem to be the target of crazies and unannounced Surrealists more than anybody else who sits behind a microphone and in front of a camera...but Dave handles them so well, we want to invite Dave to keep booking the weirdos and letting the chips fall where they may. In one sense, his agreeing to book these people (and sometimes over and over again) makes Dave the ballsiest talk show host out there...and yes, I know about Conan's Super Bowl ad. My vote still goes to Dave.

And also, we just like Dave. At no one's prompting but his own, last week he resurrected a Bill Hicks routine that he'd killed in 1993 and had never aired. Mad props to Dave.







Vince out.

Letterman's History of Surreal Interviews

So we know this is all a prank at this point and that sort of ruins the fun- for me at least. Also, it makes me wonder why is it that when someone decides they want to go crazy during an appearance on a talk-show, they do it on Letterman?

I feel bad for Dave, but I also think it's cool that we now have this treasure trove of surreal talk-show appearances.

I know what's going on with Joaquin (he's not on drugs, he's not nervous- he's 'acting') so let's not spend any more time on it. Instead, let's discuss these...

Andy Kaufman
He did a lot. I won't post them all- but here's a famous one.



Harvey Pekar
Ummm...



Crispin Glover
Like Joaquin Crispin is in character- though not the character from the film he's promoting (The River's Edge) but a character from the yet-to-be-made Rubin and Ed.



Harmony Korine
He's probably screwing with Dave. He might also be an awkward guy. He's probably got a weird sense of humor. Add those together and you get this.



And the sequel...



Side note: Harmony Korine cast Werner Herzog in his Julien Donkey-Boy and Mister Lonely and Crispin worked with Herzog on Incident at Loch Ness and both gave a commentary track on Herzog's Fata Morgana. Werner Herzog has yet to appear on Letterman (though he was on Conan...)

Anyway, moving on to some less-intentional surrealism...

Madonna
Watch Madonna try not to be boring- this shtick was old at the time. Who cares?



Farrah Fawcett
Unlike Joaquin, Crispin, and Harmony, Farrah quickly came out to admit she was nervous- but... I don't know...







Dan

ART WE LIKE: Foreign Movie Posters

ART WE LIKE is a weekly column where we, Dan and Vince, present art that doesn't suck.

Movie Poster Floating Heads - watch more funny videos

In keeping with last weeks post, we figured we'd pay homage to some cool movie posters. But not American Posters, not since Drew Struzan stopped being Hollywood's go-to guy. Sorry, guy-from-the-Sonic-commercials but I'd stick to what you know best, which is eating food and talking about eating food. Making posters, not really your thing.

In fact as I write this, Catherine Deneuve is staring down on me from a Belle de Jour poster. And no, not the lame Photoshop 101 American poster- a very cool Japanese version- okay, a reporduction of a very cool Japanese one, but still...

Click around here or here or here. You'll see some cool stuff. One of Vince's favorites is this Hans Hillman poster for The Criminal Life of Archibaldo de la Cruz, where the poster itself manages to be surreal.

Some of these are really cool. However, sometimes foreign posters are crazy. Like did you know that One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest is actually a sequel to the Shining? Well in Turkey it is!


Anyway, for more odd- just plain wrong (but still better than American) foreign movie posters go over to Cracked.com.

End of Post!

Dan

Post-post wrap up: I think this post was pretty good. I probably could have included more actual images of the posters I was talking about, but whatever- I'm lazy. Also, I had a really hard time finding a copy of the Belle de Jour poster I have. God, so lazy... Oh, and I'm really worried that 'foreign movie posters' sounds like posters for foreign films, which isn't really what I'm talking about. It's the posters themselves that are foreign. I don't know, I give this post like a 4/10.

Unintential Television Surrealism

So, you're going along, watching the evening news, and this story comes along about the potentially grisly disappearance of a sixteen-year-old girl who was abducted from her lifeguarding job and never heard from again. Police have uncovered a lead, though, and they're interviewing a new suspect, who's already in custody in a Florida jail.

And here's the kicker -- the suspect is apparently a chipmunk holding a movie clapper. No kidding. Check it out.

Vince out.

Joaquin on Letterman Tonight...

Maybe Dave will get to the bottom of some of this foolishness.

Or it will become even more bizarre.

Either way, it will surely be an interesting chapter in this on-going saga.

Dan

More from Japan

I've already talked about how Japan's main export is surrealism but we're kinda sorta over it.

But today is sort of a slow news day. Plus we're lazy. So we're breaking the glass and pulling ourselves out some good-old-fashioned Japanese Surrealism.

But before we start, I'd like to note that this isn't coming from some random game-show or kid's cartoon, this one comes from a genuine auteur. Takashi Miike- who has made some great films, such as Visitor Q, The Happiness of the Katakuris, and Audition- but not Ichi the Killer, which despite what the film-student with tattoos who is talking way too loudly one table over from you at the coffee shop insists is not the most brutal/awesome/best movie ever. It's just not. Go slap that guy.

Anyway, where was I? Oh, yeah- embeddable video player, go!!!!



So there it is folks.

As far as release info for the US, I don't know, and frankly I'm not going to bother to look it up, because if it's anything like most of Miike's other movies, it will end up being unceremoniously dumped to DVD sometime next year.

Dan

The Road to Oscar/Luis

The Oscars are coming up soon (which means so are our own Luis Awards- no, we didn't forget) so let's look back at some Oscar surrealism.



Now, I'm tempted to not provide any sort of commentary on this at all- except the damn thing is so excruciating you probably wouldn't watch it. Seriously, as someone who was excited about Criterion's 2-disc release of Pasolini's Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom I will go on the record and say that this is unwatchable, and flat-out morally reprehensible.

So instead of talking anymore, I'm going to do this. I'm going to send you over to Phil Hall's great column at Film Threat, The Bootleg Files and you can read all about it and find tidbits like this:

More embarrassing was an open letter to the Academy that was published right after the telecast. Julie Andrews, Gregory Peck, Paul Newman, Sidney Lumet and Billy Wilder were among the A-listers who signed the letter, which called the telecast "an embarrassment to both the Academy and the entire motion picture industry" and added it was "neither fitting nor acceptable that the best work in motion pictures be acknowledged in such a demeaning fashion."

By the way, if you're not reading Phil's column, you're really missing out on articles about some of the most bizarre (and usually misguided) movies you've never heard of.

Is it just me or does this blog get worse everyday? I seriously sent you to another link if you want any information at all about this post. Bad surrealist. Bad. Bad.

Dan

Joaquin Not Joakin'

I'm not going to bother to say anything... Joaquin, I'll let you handle this:

"There's not a hoax," Phoenix tells the Associated Press of doubts about his sudden conversion from movie star to hip-hop artist. "Might I be ridiculous? Might my career in music be laughable? Yeah, that's possible, but that's certainly not my intention."

People Magazine has more.

Also, I think I totally subconsciously stole this headline from Film Drunk. Sorry everyone.

Dan

Super Bowl Porn Update: Free Money!

The Super Bowl Porn saga continues. This most recent twist is a move by Comcast to save face (in this context that feels really dirty...) by sending all their customers who may have witnessed the accidental porn $10.

So, as Wonkette puts it, Comcast will pay their customers to watch pornography.

Surrealism is alive and well.

Dan

ART WE LIKE: The "I Can Read Movies" Series

ART WE LIKE is a weekly column where we, Dan and Vince, present art that doesn't suck.
Artist Spacesick has decided to "Make Something Cool Everyday" and post it to Flickr. This is very cool, the creation of art, any art, is something we support.

Even cooler though is the fact that A. he/she's good and B. he/she has recently decided to devote this series to old pulp-novel-looking covers for non-existent film novelizations, such as the ones seen above. And the one seen below...

Anyway, you can check out the whole series of covers, along with whatever other cool stuff Spacesick makes, on Flickr.

Dan

Welcome to Texas, home of the Zombie Apocalypse

Well, here we are, three years before the Mayan calendar predicted the end of the world, and apparently the zombies have already arrived in Texas.

But not really. Turns out this was all just a big joke. And although we had nothing to do with it, we will take credit for the idea, since we wrote about this exact thing several months ago in connection with the release of the movie Eagle Eye, although we did suggest the very un-Surreal approach of actually renting space on the digital billboards. Oh well. When you innovate, you can't always see all the angles.

Porn During the Super Bowl and Why It Means Surrealism is Alive and Well

Okay- I'm going to blame this on poor research on my part. But at one point in time, Luis Buñuel (I think- correct me if I'm wrong) said (and I'm paraphrasing) that a truly surrealist gesture would be to lock people in a theater and inflict a pornographic movie on them... (If I could somehow Google through the books on my bookshelf I could get an exact quote- but alas, I can't).

Anyway, cut to last night's Superbowl- then Cut to Pornography.

Here's the story:

TUCSON, Ariz. — A cable television provider has apologized to Tucson-area customers over a 30-second porn interruption during the Super Bowl. Philadelphia-based Comcast issued a brief statement Monday saying the company is "mortified" and is conducting a thorough investigation.

Check out NSFW video of the event here. The story continues...

Comcast spokeswoman Jennifer Khoury says the initial investigation suggests that the interruption was an "isolated, malicious act."

So, whichever master control operator pulled this off, technically, did something very surreal. Very surreal. Think about it, how many people can you fit in a movie theater? 200 these days- if you're lucky, though the number in the old days. Now, how many people watch the Super Bowl? I don't know (again, poor research) but way more than 200. So not only did this guy perform a surrealist act, he performed a surrealist act on a scale far greater than the original surrealists ever imagined!

In conclusion, should the culprit chose to come forward they would definitely lose their job, possibly face jail-time, and be welcomed with open arms here at P.S.U.A. - the surrealists union.

Dan

Surreal Blog Post #1

People always go:

Hey Dan and Vince, I love your blog- but it's not really surreal is it?

And then we go:

Well, we're surreal- and we make it, and we talk about surreal things- so I think that counts...

Then we feel kind of awkward, being called out by a 'normal' and all...

But we don't post 'surreal blogs' because, frankly, we didn't think you guys could take it- but, hey, you asked for it...

So here we go. Surreal Blog Post #1. This is going to be totally surreal. You've been warned!



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Dan