The Unofficial Luis Awards Short Film Category

There are lots of surreal short films made every year. In fact the short film format is preferable to the feature when it comes to being surreal. And this is the exact reason we didn't have a "Best Short Film" category at the Luis Awards. We would, without a doubt, have over-looked something really fantastic and deserving.

But if we were to venture a guess at who would have won had we had this category based solely on what we HAD managed to see, it would have been Western Spaghetti by PES. you can see it up at the top of the page there.

But of course if we did say that- we would then receive tons of e-mails from all of you "what about blegh and blah blah? Didn't you see blah blah" and then we'd go "no" and then you'd go "well you should actually watch movies if you're going to give awards" and then we'd say "tell that to the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. Zing!" and then you'd go "huh?" and then we'd go "ask your mom. Zing!" and by then you'd just stop caring.

Dan

That Rob Lowe Thing EXPLAINED!

Dan here, sorry about my lack of posting- I've been nursing a Post-Luis hangover- it seriously took a week. Anyway, if you read the blog a lot you've noticed we've developed a temporary obsession with Rob Lowe's Oscar Opening, even though I'm not sure why... maybe it's because Joaquin just hasn't been that entertaining the last few days... I'm not sure.

Well, anyway, Jimmy Kimmel asked Rob Lowe about this atrocious crap- and then Rob Lowe talked about it. True story.



Dan

(h/t Deadline Hollywood Daily)

Luis Awards 2010 Already Locked Up?

As you know, we announced the first ever Luis Awards last Friday, during the run-up to the Oscars. Now, most people have been complaining this whole awards season that the Oscar race was too predictable. Sure, Sean Penn got the surprise win over Mickey Rourke, but Slumdog Millionaire and Benjamin Button won everything they were expected to, Kate Winslet won her thing, which everybody expected, Heath Ledger, etc....

It's hard for me to say this, but I think, sadly, the Luis Awards have already fallen into the trap of predictability. I went to see Coraline (in 3-D! Just like our movie!) the day after the Luis Awards, and I'm sorry to say the Luis for Most Unintentionally Surreal Movie in 2010 may already be sewn up.

By this...thing...about super-intelligent guinea pig spies...which has six credited writers...three of whom have won or been nominated for Oscars:


Vince out.

LUIS AWARDS: Most Surreal Film

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and Gentlemen, Dan and Vince!

VINCE: Dan, colon, well it's been a long day huh, Vince, question mark. Vince, colon, Yeah, I'm sure glad it's almost over, period. Dan, colon, only one award left, dramatic pause, Most Surreal Film.

[PRE-RECORDED VIDEO OF DAN AND VINCE AND BRAD PITT STARTS]'

DAN: Lot of surreal movies this year.

VINCE: Yup.

DAN: Brad?

BRAD: Yeah, I've heard about one in particular.

[LAUGHTER]

VINCE: Synecdoche, New York?

[LAUGHTER]

BRAD: No, Vince, actually I was thinking of my film, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

[APPLAUSE]

VINCE: Oh...

DAN: Well, let's see who wins.

VINCE: Brad, will you do the honors.

BRAD: I'd be honored to.

[LAUGHTER]

BRAD: The Luis goes to...

[BRAD OPENS ENVELOPE]

BRAD: The Visioneers?



DAN: Yeah, unlike Synecdoche, New York and your film The Over-long Case of Benjamin Button, The Visioneers didn't get a big theatrical release this year, in fact I'm not even sure it has a distributor yet. But it is awesome and we do hope people get a chance to see it. And it's really important to promote independent film, true independent film, isn't that right, Brad?

[BRAD'S PUBLICIST STEPS IN FROM OUT OF FRAME]

PUBLICIST: We have to stop this now...

VINCE: What do you mean?

PUBLICIST: No. Off. Turn the camera off.

[PRE-RECORDED VIDEO ENDS]

VINCE: Dan, colon, well that was fun, dot, dot, dot, Vince, colon, yeah. good-bye everyone. Dan, colon, This is Dan, Vince, colon, and this is Vince, Dan, colon, and we'll see you right here next year for the, in unison, colon, Luis Awards 2010!

LUIS AWARDS: Most Surreal Performance

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and Gentleman, from the Actor's Studio, please welcome James Lipton.

[APPLAUSE]

JAMES: Who has my keys? Which one of you sons of bitches have my keys? I want my keys!

[PRE-RECORDED VIDEO OF DAN AND VINCE STARTS]

DAN: You ready?

VINCE: Go!

[VINCE BEGINS CHUGGING A GALLON OF WATER]

DAN: I've only got a minute, so I'll keep this quick. Lots of great performances this year. Catherine Deneuve in A Christmas Tale- it was good, but not surreal. Crispin Glover was in a Herschell Gordon Lewis remake... I mean, c'mon...

[VINCE CONTINUES CHUGGING AND SIGNALS FOR DAN TO SPEED UP]

DAN: Even we have to admit that Heath Ledger was amazing as the Joker in The Dark Knight, the kind of performance that jumps off the screen and gives you a totally new perspective on a character that-

[VINCE CAN"T CHUG ANYMORE. DROPS THE GALLON OF WATER. WATER SPRAYS EVERYWHERE. VINCE WALKS AWAY.]

DAN: Um, The Most Surreal Performance this year didn't happen in the movies. It happened in real-life, like all good art in our opinion. We're going to give the award to Samuel Wurzelbacher who played the character of "Joe the Plumber" in the 2008 Election. He's not named Joe, he's not a licensed plumber- and now he's become a political pundit, a member of the press who travels to war-zones and talks about how the press shouldn't be in war-zones. Sam, you so crazy. And while we really appreciate all the zaniness you added to our 2008, we're sort of sick of you and not sure why we had to listen to you in the first place. So take your award and go away. Please.


See you back here in two hours...

Keep Reading LUIS AWARDS: Most Surreal Film...

LUIS AWARDS: Most Unintentionally Surreal Movie

ANNOUNCER: She's a Golden Girl and he's Guerrilla, Ladies and Gentleman please welcome Betty White and Benecio del Toro.

[APPLAUSE]

BENECIO: You know Betty, no one sets out to make a bad movie-

BETTY: Well you wouldn't know it if you went to the movies this year.

[LAUGHTER]

BENECIO: What's the worst thing you saw at the theater in 2008, Betty?

BETTY: Oh, it's the same worst movie I've seen every year- Battlefield Earth. I don't know why I keep watching it...

[LAUGHTER]

BENECIO: Well all the nominees in this category were released this year...

BETTY: And even I won't be watching them again!

[LAUGHTER]

BENECIO: Ladies and Gentleman, the Most Unintentionally Surreal Movie.

[PRE-RECORDED VIDEO OF DAN AND VINCE STARTS]

DAN AND VINCE (speaking in unison): There were a lot of mediocre films this year, and there were a lot of films that weren't as good as we hoped. But there is only two movies that can truly be considered the Most Unintentionally Surreal.

VINCE: That sounds awkward.

DAN: Yeah. We'll re-write it and do it again...

DAN AND VINCE (speaking in unison): So the award this year goes to...

DISASTER MOVIE and MEET THE SPARTANS

These two films replace plot with pastiche and jokes with simple reenactments of scenes from other films. The title of Disaster Movie is completely dadaist- not to mention the fact that it begs its critics to make a joke out of it. A joke which would be funnier than anything in the movie. While Meet the Spartans breaks from the usual Friedberg / Seltzer naming convention, it does show us the brilliant formula they use to make their movies; ONE CRAPPY MOVIE + ANOTHER CRAPPY MOVIE = OUR FILM, WHICH IS REALLY CRAPPY. The more I think about it, the more I think this surrealism may not be so Unintentional after all.


See you back here in two hours...


Keep Reading LUIS AWARDS: Most Surreal Performance...

LUIS AWARDS: Pre-Show

Hey folks, I hope you can hear me over the crowd noise- we're coming to you LIVE from the red carpet outside the Luis Awards, honoring surrealism in films. It's 7AM in LA and the stars should start arriving soon- hey look isn't that @fakecelebrity?

I'm getting word that Vince and the Glam-Cam crew are talking to a certain celebrity. Who you got Vince?

Vince?

Vince?

Alright, we're having some technical problems that we'll try and resolve... it's live TV, folks... uh, in the meantime- um... in the meantime, we've got a schedule of events for today.

In 2 hours we'll be announcing Best Unintentional Surrealism (11AM/9AMp), then we've got Most Surreal Performance after that (1PM/11AMp), then finally Most Surreal Film (3PM/1PMp). Then we'll be self-congratulatory for a while.

This is Dan for Dan and Vince. Check back throughout the day, we'll see you soon.

What's that. I'm sorry folks, I'm getting word that the 'crappy awards show opening' is starting...



Keep Reading LUIS AWARDS: Most Unintentionally Surreal Movie...

Luis Awards THIS FRIDAY!

The Luis Awards (honoring surrealism) are going to be announced this Friday. There won't be a ceremony, just a blog post- but hey, the Oscars started the EXACT SAME WAY. Or so I say...

Anyway, it's just easier to ignore the ceremony right now, but it is a little sad because that means there won't be any awesome / crazy moments like this...

Marlon Brando's win (Stupid Academy disabled embedding).

Or this...



Or this...



Michael "Soy Bomb" Portnoy, your PSUA membership paperwork is in the mail, and we're currently trying to figure out how to get ODB a posthumous membership...

Anyway, see you here on Friday!

Dan

Buñuel on DVD

We totally dropped the ball on this, which both is and isn't surprising...

It's surprising because it gives us a chance to promote the announcement of our Luis Awards- this Friday, February 20th, right here on this very blog. But it's not surprising because we're not very good at blogging.

Anyway, last Tuesday Criterion released two of Luis Buñuel's best films on DVD.

The Exterminating Angel might be my favorite of Buñuel's films- of course it's so hard to pick a favorite, it would be like picking out which of his kids I like the most (which, for the record, is Juan Luis...). Criterion gives it the two-disc treatment and includes interviews with Silvia Pinal,
Jean-Claude Carrière, and- hey!- Juan Luis Buñuel. Check it out at Criterion's website.

Simon of the Desert is also great. These two films come from my favorite period in Buñuel's filmography, the winning streak that started with Viridana and ended with Belle de Jour this might be the weakest film within that streak, but that would be like saying it's the weakest player on some sports team that's really good (note to self: avoid sports metaphors). Anyway, more on Criterion's website.

Hopefully by posting this today, with the knowledge that most record and video stores reset their sales on Tuesdays when new items come out. You, our faithful readers, can make it to the store and buy these items.

Tell 'em Dan and Vince sent you.

Actually, don't do that. That would be awkward.

Dan

The Road to Oscar/Luis

The Oscars are coming up soon (which means so are our own Luis Awards- no, we didn't forget) so let's look back at some Oscar surrealism.



Now, I'm tempted to not provide any sort of commentary on this at all- except the damn thing is so excruciating you probably wouldn't watch it. Seriously, as someone who was excited about Criterion's 2-disc release of Pasolini's Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom I will go on the record and say that this is unwatchable, and flat-out morally reprehensible.

So instead of talking anymore, I'm going to do this. I'm going to send you over to Phil Hall's great column at Film Threat, The Bootleg Files and you can read all about it and find tidbits like this:

More embarrassing was an open letter to the Academy that was published right after the telecast. Julie Andrews, Gregory Peck, Paul Newman, Sidney Lumet and Billy Wilder were among the A-listers who signed the letter, which called the telecast "an embarrassment to both the Academy and the entire motion picture industry" and added it was "neither fitting nor acceptable that the best work in motion pictures be acknowledged in such a demeaning fashion."

By the way, if you're not reading Phil's column, you're really missing out on articles about some of the most bizarre (and usually misguided) movies you've never heard of.

Is it just me or does this blog get worse everyday? I seriously sent you to another link if you want any information at all about this post. Bad surrealist. Bad. Bad.

Dan

ANNOUNCING: The First Annual Luis Awards!

So we've been thinking about it and we've decided that 2008 was a pretty good year for surreal movies... So maybe we, as surrealists, should reward them, therefore we introduce the first Annual Luis Awards, recognizing surrealism in film.



We're thinking of the following categories:

1. Most Surreal Film
2. Most Surreal Performance
3. Most Unintentionally Surreal Movie



However, we're really worried about missing maybe some of the smaller films that came out in '08, so if you can think of anything that would be appropriate please post it in the comments below.

We'll announce the nominees soon.

Dan

UPDATE: Fixed the 'Ben Button' trailer...