LUIS AWARDS: Most Unintentionally Surreal Movie

ANNOUNCER: She's a Golden Girl and he's Guerrilla, Ladies and Gentleman please welcome Betty White and Benecio del Toro.

[APPLAUSE]

BENECIO: You know Betty, no one sets out to make a bad movie-

BETTY: Well you wouldn't know it if you went to the movies this year.

[LAUGHTER]

BENECIO: What's the worst thing you saw at the theater in 2008, Betty?

BETTY: Oh, it's the same worst movie I've seen every year- Battlefield Earth. I don't know why I keep watching it...

[LAUGHTER]

BENECIO: Well all the nominees in this category were released this year...

BETTY: And even I won't be watching them again!

[LAUGHTER]

BENECIO: Ladies and Gentleman, the Most Unintentionally Surreal Movie.

[PRE-RECORDED VIDEO OF DAN AND VINCE STARTS]

DAN AND VINCE (speaking in unison): There were a lot of mediocre films this year, and there were a lot of films that weren't as good as we hoped. But there is only two movies that can truly be considered the Most Unintentionally Surreal.

VINCE: That sounds awkward.

DAN: Yeah. We'll re-write it and do it again...

DAN AND VINCE (speaking in unison): So the award this year goes to...

DISASTER MOVIE and MEET THE SPARTANS

These two films replace plot with pastiche and jokes with simple reenactments of scenes from other films. The title of Disaster Movie is completely dadaist- not to mention the fact that it begs its critics to make a joke out of it. A joke which would be funnier than anything in the movie. While Meet the Spartans breaks from the usual Friedberg / Seltzer naming convention, it does show us the brilliant formula they use to make their movies; ONE CRAPPY MOVIE + ANOTHER CRAPPY MOVIE = OUR FILM, WHICH IS REALLY CRAPPY. The more I think about it, the more I think this surrealism may not be so Unintentional after all.


See you back here in two hours...


Keep Reading LUIS AWARDS: Most Surreal Performance...

The Best Movie Ever / The Worst Movie Ever

The weekend it came out The Dark Knight flew (get it? oh wait... nevermind...) to #1 on the IMDB's Top 250, obliterating The Godfather and forcing it down to the dreaded #2 spot, where it will remain until the hype dies down and people come to their senses and realize that Christian Bale's Batman voice was just damn goofy.

Anyway, this weekend saw the release of the newest opus from auteurs* Jason Friedberg & Aaron Seltzer, Disaster Movie. And just like The Dark Knight it flew (sank) to the top (bottom) of it's own list, the IMDB's Bottom 100.

Now first off you have to consider that this means people who saw this trailer, thought "that looks sooooooooooooo funnee" (let's assume they think in typos), and then left their house and paid to see it- were disappointed!

Now while I'm sure Sam Mraovich** is relieved about this, it brings up a disturbing trend.

That's right, I'm talking about hyperbolic reactions. This is the best/worst _____ ever, for now...

Seriously hyperbolic reactions are the worst and greatest problem we as a nation have ever faced and now that they have started affecting our lists, we can no longer stand idly by!

So, here's what you do. Go to the the IMDB, give The Dark Knight the 7 or 8 it actually deserves, then go over to Disaster Movie and give it a 1.

That's right. Hyperbolic reactions aside I really do think that it is possible that Disaster Movie is the worst film ever made, so let's keep it at #1 FOREVER and not just until Paris Hilton releases another movie. It sounds crazy, I know, but we can do it. Us, You, and Sam Mraovich.

Let's make history people.

Thank to Cinematical.

Dan

* Just to clarify, that's sarcasm, these talentless hack motherfuckers are absolute proof that Hollywood sees its audience as little more than a gullible wallet that will pay for any garbage they throw at you as long as they call it comedy. And while they deserve your hatred, it is the system that allows them to exist and (holy shit!) make a living making movies that is the real enemy.

** Who I bet has a Google alert set-up for his own name. Hi Sam!