LUIS AWARDS: Most Surreal Performance

ANNOUNCER: Ladies and Gentleman, from the Actor's Studio, please welcome James Lipton.

[APPLAUSE]

JAMES: Who has my keys? Which one of you sons of bitches have my keys? I want my keys!

[PRE-RECORDED VIDEO OF DAN AND VINCE STARTS]

DAN: You ready?

VINCE: Go!

[VINCE BEGINS CHUGGING A GALLON OF WATER]

DAN: I've only got a minute, so I'll keep this quick. Lots of great performances this year. Catherine Deneuve in A Christmas Tale- it was good, but not surreal. Crispin Glover was in a Herschell Gordon Lewis remake... I mean, c'mon...

[VINCE CONTINUES CHUGGING AND SIGNALS FOR DAN TO SPEED UP]

DAN: Even we have to admit that Heath Ledger was amazing as the Joker in The Dark Knight, the kind of performance that jumps off the screen and gives you a totally new perspective on a character that-

[VINCE CAN"T CHUG ANYMORE. DROPS THE GALLON OF WATER. WATER SPRAYS EVERYWHERE. VINCE WALKS AWAY.]

DAN: Um, The Most Surreal Performance this year didn't happen in the movies. It happened in real-life, like all good art in our opinion. We're going to give the award to Samuel Wurzelbacher who played the character of "Joe the Plumber" in the 2008 Election. He's not named Joe, he's not a licensed plumber- and now he's become a political pundit, a member of the press who travels to war-zones and talks about how the press shouldn't be in war-zones. Sam, you so crazy. And while we really appreciate all the zaniness you added to our 2008, we're sort of sick of you and not sure why we had to listen to you in the first place. So take your award and go away. Please.


See you back here in two hours...

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