Surrealism in the Real World

Cracked.com has a very cool list of "Images you won't believed aren't photoshopped." It includes the image above (a fake facade draped over a building that's under construction, as well as the sculpture seen below...



Also, you've got floating faucets and levitation... basically it's far more surreal than anything we're going to come up with today... so that's it then. My job's done. You can also check out Cracked's first list of the kind here.

Dan

ART WE LIKE: Roger Corman

What can you say about Roger Corman? Whatever it is, it's stuff we like. He makes his own rules (like us), works outside the mainstream (like us), and discovered Jack Nicholson (like us...wait...um, no. That wasn't us. That was Roger Corman.).

Not only did he give us movies with titles like NAKED PARADISE, THE BEAST WITH A MILLION EYES, and THE SAGA OF THE VIKING WOMEN AND THEIR VOYAGE TO THE WATERS OF THE GREAT SEA SERPENT, but he also gave us A BUCKET OF BLOOD, about a lonely guy who kills people and covers them in clay because he wants to be liked by a bunch of beatniks. Whenever Dan gets sick, I load him down with DayQuil and Orange Juice, then plop him on the couch to watch A BUCKET OF BLOOD. It always makes him feel better...right before he passes out.



Vince out.

Um...

Man we really dig the idea of performance art. The idea of performance art... unfortunately most performance art ends up somewhere between "well that happened..." "wait, what just happened?"

Like this:



The act itself (fellatio on a microphone) probably means something... I guess, I don't know. To be honest watching the video makes me a little uncomfortable. I do sort of dig listening to it though. I think if you added in Brian Chipendale on drums I could listen to this.

Dan

Mr. Oizo d'Andalou

We've never been big fans of electronic music, but we do remember liking Mr. Oizo. He was in a few Levis commercials...



Oh yeah, he's a puppet. Which I guess makes this pretty surreal. Surrealer still, and the real reason I'm bringing this up is the cover of his (I assume... if I'm wrong, I apologize... ma'am...) new album Lamb's Anger features this very cool, Buñuel-inspired cover:



Along with a very cool commercial:



That cover is so cool, it earns him free promotion. The album came out- uh, "dropped" on November 17th, so go get it!

Check out Mr. Oizo's MySpace for more info...

Dan

Joaquin: Chapter 3

A reader named Anonymous (which I must admit is a pretty surreal user-name, he's making a self-aware statement about the anonymity of the internet and the- oh wait, it's just someone who commented anonymously. Nevermind.) responded to our last post about Joaquin Phoenix, Surrealist? with this interesting tidbit about Joaquin showing up at a club to debut his music career- his music of choice is rap, by the way.

Casey Affleck was once again on hand, videotaping the action for a documentary about Joaquin's music career.

Damn it this is getting exciting!

Dan

OPEN CALL: Reader Submitted Surrealism

We need your help.

We (Dan and Vince) are trying to make the world a more surreal place, we personally contribute through our own surrealing, but that's tiring and we can't expect the same level of commitment from everyone.

But here's what you can do. You can tell us when you see surrealism (intentional or otherwise) in your everyday life.

Let me give you an example.

While driving out of a parking lot, I saw a retirement age couple walking through the parking lot. They were walking close together and talking, dressed in that old-person-casual style that favors comfort and color over all else. The woman was holding a leash that was behind her. Due to my interest in seeing cute puppies I followed the leash with my eyes. I was disappointed. She wasn't walking a dog, she was walking a tire. A tire, on its side so it was being dragged and not rolled, with a dog leash clipped on it, being 'walked' by a nice couple through a parking lot.

I don't know why they were taking their tire for a walk. The only stores in the strip mall were a liquor store, a salon, and a deli. No tire stores. No auto part stores. Nothing that could make the couple's actions logical.

Surrealism in real life.

Now it's your turn. Send us your stories.

Dan

Dracula 2

They're making a sequel to Dracula! Dracula: the book! Sequels, remakes, relaunches, and 're-imaginings' are out of control!

Whatever happened to coming up with some characters (new characters) and then having them do something (preferably something people hadn't really done before)?

Anyway- Dracula- Not surprisingly, they've already adapted the new book into a screenplay. In addition, two more sequels will follow (in book form, then most likely movies...).

So is this really necessary? I'll let you decide. Come, let's chart Dracula over the years.

1897 - Bram Stoker writes the novel Dracula.
1922 - F. W. Murnau makes his unauthorized film version, Nosferatu
1924 - Dracula is staged as a play starring Bela Lugosi
1927 - The play hits Broadway
1931 - The stage play is adapted into Tod Browning's film for Universal Studios
1931 - George Melford remakes Dracula, shooting at night on the same sets for the Spanish-language market
1936 - Universal Studios' Dracula 2 - Dracula's Daughter
1943 - Universal Studios' Dracula 3 - Son of Dracula
1944 - Return of the Vampire, starring Bela Lugosi, often considered an unofficial sequel to Universal Studios' original film Dracula
1944 - Universal Studios' Dracula 4 - House of Frankenstein
1945 - Universal Studios' Dracula 5 - House of Dracula
1948 - Universal Studios' Dracula 6 - Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein
1953 - Turkey adapts the book as Dracula Istanbul'da
1957 - The Blood of Dracula - visits the character during his teenage years
1958 - The Return of Dracula - an unofficial sequel to the novel
1958 - Hammer Films makes Dracula starring Christopher Lee (aka Horror of Dracula)
1960 - Hammer Dracula 2 - The Brides of Dracula
1966 - Hammer Dracula 3 - Dracula: Prince of Darkness
1966 - Billy the Kid vs. Dracula - an anachronistic take on the character
1968 - Hammer Dracula 4 - Dracula Has Risen from the Grave
1969 - Hammer Dracula 5 - Taste the Blood of Dracula
1969 - Al Adamson's Blood of Dracula's Castle has the character living to America
1970 - Hammer Dracula 6 - Scars of Dracula
1970 - Jesus Franco's Count Dracula - a Franco-ish take on the novel
1970 - Al Adamson's Dracula vs. Frankenstein
1972 - Hammer Dracula 7 - Dracula A.D. 1972
1972 - Dracula's Great Love, with Paul Naschy

1972 - American International Pictures' Blacula, starring Shakespearean actor William Marshall

1973 - Hammer Dracula 8 - The Satanic Rites of Dracula
1973 - TV movie starring Jack Palance adapts the novel

1973 - American International Pictures Blacula 2 - Scream Blacula Scream

1974 - Paul Morrisey and Andy Warhol present Blood for Dracula
1974 - Hammer releases The Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires

I'm going to stop right here. 1974. 24 years ago. And we've already created all the adaptations listed in this big block of text that you probably didn't bother to read...

So what's my point? My point is if the original has inspired this much derivation, think about what a sequel will do. Like when you make a copy of a copy... or does that metaphor no longer work on the MP3, bit-torrent generation?

We simply don't have enough time left on this planet to deal with any other forms of this story. We're sick of it. Any sane rational person would have realized we reached our limit somewhere long before 1974. So let's stop bull-shitting each other.

I know Twilight is coming out today and it will make millions, but that's not Dracula. It's a new story. Just like the similar / superior Let the Right One in (trailer way up at the top there). These are films that take the mythology developed in the Dracula novel and build upon it. That's cool. We've got no problem with that. By building on the established horror conventions of vampires, zombies, and werewolves we may actually see some truly unique horror films in our lifetime.

Maybe.

Probably not though.

Dan

Thanks but No Thanks...

Chicagoan Penny Pritzker has withdrawn her name from consideration for the position of Commerce Secretary in President Obama's cabinet.

We'd like to take this opportunity, in this open forum, to inform President Elect Obama's people that we also do not want to serve as Commerce Secretary.

It's not political, and we appreciate the (surely forthcoming) offer but we've simply got too much surrealing to do.

Everyone serves our country in their own way. We do it by surrealing.

Dan

ART WE LIKE: Emmanuel Guibert Draws with Water

Next time you see a painting you like ask the artist how he painted it.

He'll probably say "with paint."

Then you go "Pffft. Whatever. Loser."

This may sound harsh- but after watching this video, I think you'll agree.

Here we see artist Emmanuel Guibert demonstrating the technique he used on his new graphic novel Alan's War.



The dude is drawing with water! The bar has been raised!

Dan

Joaquin, Surrealist (Continued)

Earlier we wrote about Joaquin Phoenix quitting acting, or more likely staging some sort of weird surrealist piece of performance art, the details of which have yet to be revealed...

But then he showed up at a film festival in Los Angeles with the above message written across his fingers.

"Bye! Good"

Hmmm. Well, what does that mean? I've got a few theories:

1. Joaquin thinks that there is nothing wrong with a good enthusiastic good-bye
2. Joaquin is trying to help out the economy by telling us to simply "Buy Goods." Of course, his spelling is all off and the extraneous punctuation makes this a little unbelievable (but only a little...)
3. Joaquin meant to say "Good-bye!" but he's holding his hands out the wrong way- or he wrote on them while looking in the mirror, and if there's one thing that the 2008 election taught us it's that you shouldn't write on yourself while looking in the mirror.

Anyway, this whole thing is weird to me, and I'm a weird dude, I'm also easily duped, but not by this.

We'll keep you posted.

Dan

Update: Surrealist Magnum Opus

A while back, I invited everybody to contribute lines to the First Ever Dan and Vince and the Whole World's Surrealist Magnum Opus...Print Edition. Well, it's not proceeding quite at the pace I envisioned, but it is progressing, so I wanted to give everybody an update.

Here's what we've got so far:

A fish popsicle, trying to breathe, trying to prove to a Zambian expat that, if you put your mind to it, anything is possible. Je suis une main. Ma poubelle est pourpre.
“Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” I said, “is actually a communist propaganda song. Have you heard the other verses?” The ingredients of water are as follows: water. Certain trees -- some deciduous, some coniferous, some man-eating – have been known to hazard the arduous trek between Grand Rapids and St. Louis. Which is in Michigan. Stay clear of them. They wish not to be seen.
“My pants! What have they done to my pants!” MTV has stolen my children.
Coolidge, Jennifer M. 310.953.8513
Coolidge, Jennifer Y. 323.232.9001
Coolidge, Xerxes S. 310.496.3481
Coolkamp, P.P. 213.898.3344
The PA crackled again. “Please report to the principal’s office.” I wept. The sun hit Raymond Chandler’s grave at 7:14 am, PDT, this morning. Is this for real? Are you guys really doing this? Ok, then here’s my contribution: “You guys are dumb. Art is gay.” If I don’t receive your rent check by 8:00 a.m. on the 12th of this month, I’d better see a moving van out front or I’m calling the cops. I’m tired of telling you two.
De förväntades un utföra icke-verbala förtrollningar, inte bara i försvar mot svartkonster utan också i trollformellära och förvandlingskonst. Regularly adding funds to your account can help you achieve your financial goals. Unluckily for Dr. Matthews, there is not the slightest sign that the novelists and newspaper men on the two sides of the ocean will ever bring themselves to such eschewing. On the contrary, they apparently delight in the use of the “localisms” he denounces, and the result is a growing difficulty of intercommunication.
Her bodice torn, the duchess stumbled into the hall, fell to her knees, and pronounced for all to hear, “At long last, behold! I am a woman, truly.”
“You want to go get some tacos?”
“I don’t know. They still on sale?”
“Oh yeah. That goes through the end of the month.”
“Then hells yeah. Tacos is tasty.”
I saw a girl wearing a shirt that said “Make awkward sexual advances, not war,” so I went up and asked her if she’d like to play hide the salami sometime, but I stuttered a little while I asked. I thought it was what she wanted. But then she slapped me, so I booked a plane to Cambodia, and the villagers there never knew what hit them.

Good work, Whole World. Keep the submissions coming.

Vince out.

Inanities, Part 3

Things I've written on my typewriter:

1. "Something happens to me when I drink caffeine."
"You get the shakes?"
"No. I lose my segues."

2. A while ago, there was this guy that I was all chummy with. He looked at me one time with nothing but porridge in his eye and said: "Chum…" I brightened up at this. "I’m glad I never ate any of that." He was right to be glad, too. Chum’s not fit for human consumption. It does a hell of a job catching sharks, though. Everything in its right place.

3. If you have a common name, you should try searching online for obituaries of people with the same name as you. It would be like jumping in a time machine.

Thanks, Crispin

I met Crispin Glover the other day at the La Brea Tar Pits. It was an accident. He was dressed quite nattily, and we discussed his movies -- the trailers for which we included in our last post -- and then exchanged pleasantries. It was very cordial. He's a great guy.

Here's what you may be asking: "That's it? Two Surrealists meet each other on the street and they exchange pleasantries, go their separate ways, and that's all? There were no monkeys? No giraffes? No string quartets perched in the trees overhead?"

Right. Exactly. Because if two Surrealists met randomly in the street and all kinds of crazy stuff started happening, it wouldn't be that surprising, would it? As a matter of fact, you'd kind of expect it, right? So the Surreal thing would be for nothing out of the ordinary to happen at all. Which is what did happen.

It was Surreal.

And then, it rained. In Los Angeles. We parted ways, and the sky opened. It never rains in Los Angeles, especially not this year. It was as though the heavens nodded slightly to us, appreciating our restraint.

It was art.

Vince out.

ART WE LIKE: Crsipin Glover

It might seem weird to pick someone who works in the traditional art-form of "acting" in what are mostly "narrative feature-length motion pictures" as an artist we admire. But watch the above clip from the film River's Edge...

Crispin Glover is not traditional, even when doing traditional actor things, like going on a talk show...



Or making a guest appearance on a sit-com...



Or a playing a small role in a slasher film...



Or releasing an album...



Or directing his own films...





Crispin Glover is awesome.

Dan

Forrest J. Ackerman

It's no secret Vince and I like classic monster movies so we were very saddened to hear about the ailing health of Famous Monsters of Filmland publisher Forrest J. Ackerman.

Aint it Cool News has the story, as well as contact info if you would like to write to Forry. Our thoughts are with him and his family...

Dan

Winslet as Deneuve...

Surrealist films don't get a lot of attention from the general public, so we've lowered our expectations as to what qualifies as press for surrealists films. Case in point, Kate Winslet's Belle de Jour-inspired photoshoot for Vanity Fair.

See the rest of the article at Vanity Fair's website (or see a picture of Kate Winslet's butt here.)

While this is very cool, it's nothing new. Diora Baird channeled Catherine Deneuve in Playboy a while back... It's NSFW, but we'll link to it here.

Dan

Three Salvador Dali Biopics?!?!

We jsut heard that Antonio Banderas is in final negotiations to play Salvador Dali in a biopic to be directed by the guy who directed CON AIR. No, we're not making that up.

But it gets weirder. This is the THIRD Dali biopic that will supposedly see the light of day in the next two years...another starring Al Pacino (DALI + I: THE SURREALIST STORY) and one staring the kid who got killed at the end of the fourth Harry Potter movie by Lord Voldemort (LITTLE ASHES).

We don't know how to feel about this. On the one hand, yay, Surrealist-themed movies! But on the other hand, Dali was the most commercial and accessible of the Surrealists, so much so that he was even ostracized for embracing classicist painting techniques.

But despite his presence on every wall in every college dorm in the country, we still like Dali. And I know that's what counts. I suppose we'll simply have to remain conflicted about the biopics.

Vince out.

ART WE LIKE: Suspects and Fugitives

I'm a little worried that we're being too negative. We are, after all, artists. And we are artists because we, for the most part, like art. So we thought that it would be cool if we started to share some art that we actually like. (This may be a weekly thing, but forgive us if it isn't...)

First up is Suspects and Fugitives- a series of portraits made from found (usually food-based) products. The piece above is called Edgar Allen Poe-tato Flakes. This appeals to us as artists, and also as lovers of puns...

This one is called Eggshell Getty...

This one. Burt Reynold's Wrap.

Anyway, I won't post every single picture here (though I could), but you can check them all out on their flickr page, or at their blog.

Dan

Inanities, Part 2

Things I've written on my typewriter:

1. Logical conclusions are a thing of the past!

2. Failure is a near certainty!

3. Words! They're silly!

Vote Today!

Vote Today- and vote twice.

First, you've got our much-anticipated Presidential Endorsement, so do that...

Then, do what you (apparently) didn't do last time we asked you to and vote in GQ's 25 Sexiest Women Poll. Ms. Catherine Surrealism Deneuve (it's her middle name- blah!) is sitting at 1% which is a travesty. Equally travese (traveste?) to our film geek hearts is that Ms. Anna Godard Karina (Godard is her middle name- wait- no...) is sitting at 0%. ZERO PERCENT! Have none of you bastards ever seen Alphaville?



You guys better do something about this or we are no longer on speaking terms...

Dan

A Little Late...

We just found this in our inbox today...

Too bad, we didn't get this a week ago. It might have influenced us if you know what I mean... but we didn't get it a week ago. We got it today. After we endorsed Brian Moore for Preident.

Nice try guys, and we were really pushing for you too. This really would have helped. Oh well... Thanks anyway...

Dan