Finally, Our Presidential Endorsement

Many of you have been holding your collective breath to see who (whom?) the Practicing Surrealists Union of America (PSUA) will endorse for President. You can exhale. And then you'll need to take another deep breath, becasue we're about to lay on you more history than you can possibly handle. Boom.

First, immediately before Surrealism's inception in the early 1920s, Eugene V. Debs was the Socialist Party's perennial nominee for President of the United States (1900-1920). He never made much of a showing at the polls, but when the Great Depression hit, Debs was dead and gone, FDR was in office, and a lot of the things Debs had consistently run on found their way into the New Deal.

Next, it stands to reason that as the lights dim and we settle into our seats for The Great Depression, Part II, whoever (whomever?) is the Socialist Party candidate will actually dictate our nation's future policy, no matter who's actually elected.

Next, Kurt Vonnegut, who has unassailable Surrealist street cred (he wrote himself into the novel Breakfast of Champions as the author of the book, sitting at a table in a hotel lounge with a curiously proportioned penis -- go check it out for yourself if you don't believe us), was fond of quoting this line of Debs': "While there is a lower class, I am in it; while there is a criminal element, I am of it; while there is a soul in prison, I am not free."

Next, the Socialist Party candidate for President of the United States in 2008 is on the ballot in only eight states, and California, where the PSUA is based, isn't one of them.

Therefore, we, Dan and Vince, Surrealists, of the PSUA, officially endorse Brian Moore, of the Socialist Party of the United States of America, as our candidate for President.

Because really, we know Sarah Palin's really made a run for our vote, but at the end of the day, what's more Surreal than endorsing a guy you can't even vote for?

Vince out.