Crispin Glover is for the Children!

I've got nothing to say about this- plus, I've got fraps to make. Gotta go!

Dan

The Magic of YouTube, Lying... (Actual Post)

So, weird thing... that last post? I apparently typed what I was supposed to be saying out loud, also, apparently, I said out loud what I was supposed to be typing here. HTML code and all. No wonder that guy looked at me so weird... Anyway, after he spoke to Sarah the Hun (aka, our manager) and I got my (actually, our) first verbal warning, I am now back on my laptop, fixing my mistake.

Here's what I meant to say:

YouTube is a magical place, magical because of stuff like this:

Now before I post this, I have to tell you this is supposed to be a TV commercial featuring Kerry King and other thrash metal guys. Sounds cool, huh? Well not as cool as this:



Congratulation YouTube user HalfEatenDimSim, you have left us completely dumbstruck.

Other videos in this dada/metal/prankster's cannon include...

How to play Slayer's Dead Skin Mask:



I'm sensing some sort of resentment for Kerry King here...

But Megadeth get some of the same baffling treatment:



And then an optical illusion:



And then some original songs... you can look at those on your own time and not "Starbucks' time" or at least that's what my manager says.

Dan

The Magic of YouTube, Lying...

Yeah, there's an extra charge for the soy milk... it's worth it though... yeah, it's what I always get.

Dan

Not Just Gibberish, Libelous Gibberish

We, Dan and Vince, respect Courtney Love.

Not for her music, or her acting, or her"rock star antics". We love her for her absurd online rants. They are absolute works of art- or at least that's what we think- but not what some other people think.

What?

Corks is getting sued for some of these rants. Check out the deets here. It sucks that none of Corks' earlier, crappier "art" never got her sued, it's only now that she has discovered the medium that works best for her (MySpace, Twitter, and apparently the comments section at Etsy.com), people get all litigious. Not fair! You can't stop art!

But on the plus side, it turns out Corks has a twitter page- fans of stream-of-consciousness-rock-star-dada click here and then rejoice!

Dan

Our Impact is Apparent...

Now we've been talking a lot about Unintentional Surrealism in Film and Television, basically we're for it.

Anyway, our push has appeared to have an impact.

We present an actual trailer for an actual movie, it's called After Last Season:



I am sooooo God Damned Excited!

Check out the film's official site here.

Bellyaching About Work is Better Than Bellyaching About No Work

You know who sucks? Customers.

Vince: Yeah?
Dumb Customer: Mmm...yeah. Hang on.
Vince: It's cool. Not like anybody's waiting. Here at this Starbucks. At 7:30 in the morning.
(annoyed look from customer)
Dumb Customer: Then I'll just have some tea.
Vince: You're in a Starbucks. We sell coffee. What kind of coffee would you like?
Dumb Customer: You also sell tea.
Vince: Who works here? You, or me? We sell coffee.
Dumb Customer: And tea. Like that stuff right there.
(customer points behind me)
Vince: Not falling for that.
Dumb Customer: You have boxes, and boxes of tea just to the left of your head.
Vince: And my shoe's untied. I know.
(Sarah Walpole, aka Sarah the Hun, aka our new manager, walks up as the line of waiting customers threatens to queue up out the door and onto the sidewalk)
Sarah the Hun: Vincent? Turn your head to the left and sell the woman some tea.
(I turn my head to the left. I see boxes of tea.)
Vince: Well...tea is for women.

I've been asked that Dan take the shift tomorrow. All because of that Dumb Customer.

Vince out.

APRIL FOOLS!

I think there's a thin line between "pranks" and "lies," but 'tis the season so whatever.

Anyway, the BBC have a history of pulling April Fools' Day Pranks, like this one:



The best part?

"Huge numbers of viewers were taken in. Many called the BBC wanting to know how they could grow their own spaghetti tree. To this the BBC diplomatically replied, 'place a sprig of spaghetti in a tin of tomato sauce and hope for the best.'"

Check out a list of other April Fools' Day Pranks at the Huffington Post.

In related news, if you swing by the Starbucks we work at, Free Americanos, all day, any size, seriously.

Dan