Site Update!

1. We haven't blogged much here. But we are still alive! In addition we are still being us, and, in case you've forgotten, we are art, ergo we are still making art by just living. So we're still around and we're still working, and most importantly, not dead. We're just not blogging all that much. However, this site remains the go-to-place for D'n'V related news, so check in regularly to see what we're up to, or follow us on Google Reader or- hey- TWITTER!

2. Here are some videos of us doing our art (one at the top, one below this paragraph). They're not new. In fact they're old. But they're art. And we're still doing this stuff, we're just not videotaping it- because Vince had to hock his DV camera after the "mall fountain" incident of 2007. Malls don't like art. Apparently.



3. I'm also going to go ahead and kill off our Twit-formance piece @fakecelebrity. I think it's run its course. I may change my mind, but right now I'm thinking this is best. We've barely been able to keep up this blog and the @danandvince Twitter account so another one was just too damn much. Good-bye old friend.

Talk soon?

Dan

Collected Twitter, 10.14.08 - 04.20.09

Let's keep talking about Twitter. The thing with it is that it moves so damn fast. You blink and you'll miss a gem- most likely a gem from us. So what we're going to do is present some of our choice tweets here in the only-slightly-more-permanent blog form, starting with our first tweet all the way up until yesterday:

Now we Twitter...

Knock knock. Who's there? Twitter. Twitter who? Twitter dot com. Did you confuse my door with your internet browser again? Yes... del,del...

I guess it's for the best you can't Twitter while you sleep, how many posts do you need that just say "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"?

I have nothing to say right now- and with Twitter I am able to express that.

It's a different year now. Is everyone okay? Did everybody survive the calender conversion process?

The sun will be coming up in New York in three hours. I'm in LA. If I can move fast enough, I will stop it. I've been drinking. - Vince

We didn't twitter a single line about the inauguration today because it wasn't surreal- well, other than Aretha Franklin's hat.

Sort of disappointing that Will.I.Am is the unofficial musician for this Inauguration. We would have picked John Zorn, but whatev. #inaug09

Our tweet about the Clintons is now on a list of "Tweets about Hilary Clinton or Clinton" - http://tinyurl.com/akf3f5

The purpose of that last post was to get that list to list my post about their list listing our post, because I think that would be awesome!

Tonight's NBC programming is in 3-D... if you have glasses, if you don't it's just sort of blurry. Just like real-life!

Say what you will about (Michael) Phelps (after the "bong photo" surfaced), but he is a superhero so we don't want him on our bad side- especially when the underwater zombies show up.

I just made a TinyUrl link that take you to TinyUrl.com- I beat the system! Check it out - http://tinyurl.com/u

have found chocolate-flavored Pez. And we find them creepy.

#thishashtagindicatesthattheonlytextinthispostISthehashtagwhichmakessensesinceitsareallonghastag Please everybody, start using that #hashtag

Damn it! We totally forgot to Tweet during the time-change! It would have been like we were tweeting from 1 hour in the future.

BTW, one hour in the future (where we are right now) everyone is totally over Twitter. The new social networking site? PooPictures.com

BTW, I didn't bother to check if poopictures.com is actually a real website (and I won't), it was for comedy only, visit at your own risk.

For future reference, Customers don't like it when you replace the soy milk in their coffee with a muffin... even if you say "#AprilFools!"

IMPORTANT: There's a big difference between an ice pick and a frozen water pick. #advice

This year, Miss USA will have a new "environmentally-friendly" crown. The old crown was made out of styrofoam and precious metals.

If I'm a journalist and I tell your story, your story becomes "my story," plus I've got my own story... Journalists = Story-collectors

If someone died in your arms in the wild west, you would probably be responsible for burying them.

So, hope that wasn't too self-indulgent... or at least not more self-indulgent than having a blog or being on Twitter. Not greater then the sum of its parts in self-indulgence-ness is what I'm saying...

Anyway, as you can see our misc. thoughts are as good as or better than Hemingway's so you should totally be following us on Twitter- because Hemingway isn't on Twitter. He's dead. Sorry to break it to you this way.

Dan

Failed #Hashtags

So, we're on Twitter. Duh. Everybody's on Twitter. (Even our boss- even your Mom, which doesn't come as much of a surprise since, according to the kids in the neighborhood, she's sort of a early-adopter of social networking websites- if you catch my drift.)

Anyway, #hashtags are the cool thing on Twitter- basically they're little subject headings for your little posts so people can search for results based on what you're talking about. Anyway, the really cool ones become memes, and, as everyone knows, memes make you money, and, as our readers know, we need money. So, we've been trying (poorly) to start some #hashtag memes. Here is a gallery of our failure.

1. #twittervandalism
Inspired by our series of blogs about Wikipedia Vandalism, we figured we should apply the same treatment to the micro-blog. Twitter-hijacking is surprisingly common- though the recent Tila Tequila thing may kind of put a damper on it- or at least put a damper on it being "funny" or "art."

2. #knockknock
We thought by posting the hashtag #knockknock, people would respond with #whosthere, then we'd say #bananas, then they'd say #bananaswho, then we'd say #orangeyougladididntsaybanana, then they'd says #lolwot. We thought that would be funny. Apparently it wasn't. Sorry, we wasted your time.

3. #onlyats
Okay, now this one I genuinely thought people would dig. It's a game, spell out a sentence by only using valid Twitter user-names. It has yet to take off... Which is really too bad, because unlike those other ones- I really, really believed that #onlyats was going to be the meme-money-train straight to our door.

You know who drives the meme-money train? Rick Astley. True story.

Sorry for all our failures. I guess that's why we're working where we're working...

Dan

Not Just Gibberish, Libelous Gibberish

We, Dan and Vince, respect Courtney Love.

Not for her music, or her acting, or her"rock star antics". We love her for her absurd online rants. They are absolute works of art- or at least that's what we think- but not what some other people think.

What?

Corks is getting sued for some of these rants. Check out the deets here. It sucks that none of Corks' earlier, crappier "art" never got her sued, it's only now that she has discovered the medium that works best for her (MySpace, Twitter, and apparently the comments section at Etsy.com), people get all litigious. Not fair! You can't stop art!

But on the plus side, it turns out Corks has a twitter page- fans of stream-of-consciousness-rock-star-dada click here and then rejoice!

Dan

Talk of a Corporate Take-Over is Exaggerated

Okay guys, we need to discuss this lack of blogging.

Check this out, do you guys want to buy a surreal story? Like you give us a few bucks and we tell you something weird- "she models for potato chips!" or whatever? Does that interest you?

Of course not!*

Turns out it doesn't really interest anyone. So we, Dan and Vince, have had to get real-world jobs to support the surrealing for a little while. It's a recession. Things are tough all over, and if we make machiatos during the day, it ensures that our art can remain free from any kind of corporate-ness... Think about it:

Last night we filled a fountain with Mountain Dew brand soda, and covered the ground around it with Doritos brand Dorito chips. It's like giant chips and queso in hyper-color and backwards. This surrealing is brought to you by Pepsi Co.**

Anyway, I've got to get back to this venti caramel mocha (making it, not drinking it) but, hey, we'll talk soon. Or whatevz... we'll get our crap together soon. Thanks for reading.

Dan

* If you do want to pay, let us know, we'll work something out.
** Note to self: Approach Pepsi Co. about Fountain prank.

Blog Time!

Okay, okay, okay, okay... It's ridiculous the lack of blogging from us, Dan and Vince, the last few days. We don't even have any sort of excuses- nothing. Just laziness.

So, how do we, Dan and Vince, make it up to you, our loyal readers?

Well, we have to blog. Blog like there's no tomorrow. Just blog, blog, blog, blog, blog.

Sure we tweet, but tweeting ain't blogging! Tweeting ain't nothing! We gotta blog!

So, how to blog? Well let's make sure we have a topic- everytime. Well, right now the topic is blogging. Done.

The topic needs to be current- blogging isn't some slow moving dinosaur like a newspaper or 24-hour news channel, blogging is now. Cool. None of the mainstream media is covering our lack of blogging. It's exclusive to here!

Then you need to express an opinion. It's ridiculous we don't blog more. Especially considering how easy it is. Done and done.

Great blog everyone! See you tomorrow!

Dan

Introducing The Twitterverse Project

Everyone's favorite Surrealists, Dan and Vince, are attempting to create the most elaborate fiction the world has ever seen, and we need your help.

Welcome to the Twitterverse! The Twitterverse only has two rules: 1) You cannot be who you say you are, and 2) You cannot be doing what you say you're doing.*

Dan and I have seeded Twitter with fake people, who are living fake lives, and keeping us all updated about them via Twitter updates. We'd like you to play along, too.
Here's how:
1) go to Twitter and create a profile for someone who isn't you (and, ideally, that you've invented from scratch), then
2) search (the one at the bottom of the page, not the "Search for People" one) for "#twitv", and all the members of the Twitterverse should appear.
3) Start following somebody, then just start following everybody they're following, and bam! you're connected to the Twitterverse.
4) Be sure to include "#twitv" somewhere in all of your updates, that way everybody can easily track what's happening in our own little digital universe.

Basically, it's like a Role-Playing Game, except it pretends to be reality and doesn't have any weird geeky stigma attached to it (well, not yet...). Here's your chance to finally write that novel, except we're offering you a way less labor-intensive, more communal way to do it.

So come on, folks! Start conjuring, and start Twittering!

Vince out.

* We considered a third rule, which was to keep things at least nominally grounded in reality, because we didn't want a Twitter update from Bardorf the Large saying he'd just slain the Evil Hellbeast of Grishnak, or anything like that. But then we figured, what the hell? It's your universe, too, do what you will.

David Lynch is on Twitter

Here's a link to David Lynch's Twitter page.

Is it really David Lynch? I don't know- who can tell anymore, but I'm going to say yes. Unlike other auteurs, Lynch can actually use a computer and the stuff he's posting is too weird- in a genuine way- to be anyone impersonating him. You won't see anything about little people talking backwards in rooms with velvet walls or any of that stuff that people for some reason consider 'Lynchian.'

What will you find? Weather reports, mainly- oh, and random thoughts of the day (like the one above), and some self-promotion of his website, telling you to visit davidlynch.com to read about... weather?

Weird, huh?

Dan

Zzzz-Mail

Since you follow our Twitter feed (which you can find here) this will probably be old news to you- but whatever, let's pretend you aren't following our Twitter feed (which you can find here).

A while ago we complained about the fact that Twitter has yet to develop a way to "tweet" while sleeping. (See our original post here)

Then Twitterer yurigoul replied that he thinks Sleep Twittering would be Followed by Sleep Second Lifing. (See original post here)

Then we said "They'd call it Second Life of the Mind"- which we thought was pretty damn clever. (See original post here)

And then- and this is sort of the point of this article. He directed us to this article about a woman sending out an e-mail while sleeping. It's pretty weird check it out...

That's all I got.

Oh and thanks for following our Twitter feed (which you can find here).

Dan

We're Fans of Our Fans!

We've already discussed the fact that we've got tons of fans on "the twitter."

But who are these people? Are they important.

Dude, yeah, you could say they're important...



Thanks Mr. Elliott- we'll keep the tweets to a respectful mimimum...

Dan

We're Number 1! (Almost)

According to Twitterholic.com, we are the 615th most followed Twitter feed in the Los Angeles area. (And we've actually gained a few followers since they compiled the list and we should actually be in the 570s by now...).

Anyway, we just felt like bragging. And it's almost the holidays and we've still got shopping to do and don't really have a lot of time to blog. So there.

Follow on us Twitter by clicking on this link right...

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..HERE!

Thanks,

Dan

Twitter Just Got Surreal-er

We are now on Twitter. We like the challenge of trying to cram our surrealism into 160 characters or less.

Visit us here:

https://twitter.com/danandvince

Dan