Collected Twitter, 10.14.08 - 04.20.09

Let's keep talking about Twitter. The thing with it is that it moves so damn fast. You blink and you'll miss a gem- most likely a gem from us. So what we're going to do is present some of our choice tweets here in the only-slightly-more-permanent blog form, starting with our first tweet all the way up until yesterday:

Now we Twitter...

Knock knock. Who's there? Twitter. Twitter who? Twitter dot com. Did you confuse my door with your internet browser again? Yes... del,del...

I guess it's for the best you can't Twitter while you sleep, how many posts do you need that just say "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"?

I have nothing to say right now- and with Twitter I am able to express that.

It's a different year now. Is everyone okay? Did everybody survive the calender conversion process?

The sun will be coming up in New York in three hours. I'm in LA. If I can move fast enough, I will stop it. I've been drinking. - Vince

We didn't twitter a single line about the inauguration today because it wasn't surreal- well, other than Aretha Franklin's hat.

Sort of disappointing that Will.I.Am is the unofficial musician for this Inauguration. We would have picked John Zorn, but whatev. #inaug09

Our tweet about the Clintons is now on a list of "Tweets about Hilary Clinton or Clinton" - http://tinyurl.com/akf3f5

The purpose of that last post was to get that list to list my post about their list listing our post, because I think that would be awesome!

Tonight's NBC programming is in 3-D... if you have glasses, if you don't it's just sort of blurry. Just like real-life!

Say what you will about (Michael) Phelps (after the "bong photo" surfaced), but he is a superhero so we don't want him on our bad side- especially when the underwater zombies show up.

I just made a TinyUrl link that take you to TinyUrl.com- I beat the system! Check it out - http://tinyurl.com/u

have found chocolate-flavored Pez. And we find them creepy.

#thishashtagindicatesthattheonlytextinthispostISthehashtagwhichmakessensesinceitsareallonghastag Please everybody, start using that #hashtag

Damn it! We totally forgot to Tweet during the time-change! It would have been like we were tweeting from 1 hour in the future.

BTW, one hour in the future (where we are right now) everyone is totally over Twitter. The new social networking site? PooPictures.com

BTW, I didn't bother to check if poopictures.com is actually a real website (and I won't), it was for comedy only, visit at your own risk.

For future reference, Customers don't like it when you replace the soy milk in their coffee with a muffin... even if you say "#AprilFools!"

IMPORTANT: There's a big difference between an ice pick and a frozen water pick. #advice

This year, Miss USA will have a new "environmentally-friendly" crown. The old crown was made out of styrofoam and precious metals.

If I'm a journalist and I tell your story, your story becomes "my story," plus I've got my own story... Journalists = Story-collectors

If someone died in your arms in the wild west, you would probably be responsible for burying them.

So, hope that wasn't too self-indulgent... or at least not more self-indulgent than having a blog or being on Twitter. Not greater then the sum of its parts in self-indulgence-ness is what I'm saying...

Anyway, as you can see our misc. thoughts are as good as or better than Hemingway's so you should totally be following us on Twitter- because Hemingway isn't on Twitter. He's dead. Sorry to break it to you this way.

Dan