Let Hollywood Be your Super Tuesday Guide!

As all of America knows, this could be the most important election of many of our lifetimes, and if the Democratic candidate gets elected this November, that person is guaranteed to make history by being either the first female or first African American president. A lot of people don’t know what to expect, should one of them reach the White House, so we thought we’d put together a handy-dandy guide to the future, as predicted by Hollywood films and TV shows that feature either an African American or female president. We hope this helps the democratic process this February 5th.

First, Barack Obama:
After the first African American president is elected, we can expect him to crack wise a lot (Head of State) while helping to foil several terrorist plots in only a few days (24), making our world and country a safer place. However, a large meteor will fall from space to destroy us (Deep Impact, The 5th Element), ushering in The Apocalypse. In the post-Apocalyptic wasteland that follows, greedy corporations will kill all the crops by watering them with sport drinks until a defrosted Army private from the past becomes an advisor to the President and the world is saved (Idiocracy).

Now, Hillary Clinton:
Initially, labor unrest will create a long period of silence where we have no idea what’s happening or what’s going to happen next (current season of 24). After that, faced with being the first First Gentleman, the guy who played The Absent-Minded Professor – in this case Robin Williams – will take control of the former First Lady’s social and gardening clubs (Kisses for my President). However, within the year, everyone will stop watching and the entire country will be cancelled (Commander in Chief).

Personally, we’re for Barack Obama. We think that reality show from Idiocracy, OWW! MY BALLS!! is a lot better than American Gladiators, My Dad is Better Than Your Dad, Moment of Truth, and even the Stuart Little movies.

And come on, we all saw what happened the last time we elected a white guy...

Vince out.

OFF STRIKE!!!

Dan and I are popping the champagne corks today, because we are officially off strike. The Practicing Surrealists Union of America's sympathy strike officially ended at 12:01 am PST this morning after talks with the WGA yesterday evening.

Dan, acting in his official capacity as Chief Negotiator for the PSUA, called the WGA to open discussions about granting us a side deal similar to the one they granted the defunct RKO pictures. After Dan called and explained what he was seeking, the conversation went something like this:

WGA: I'm sorry, you're who?
Dan: The Practicing Surrealists Union of America.
WGA: We've never heard of you.
Dan: We've been staging a sympathy strike.
WGA: Thank you. We appreciate your support.
Dan: Right. But we're really tired of not taking showers, so we'd kind of like to stop and get cleaned up. Maybe do some more surrealling.
WGA: ...Go ahead.
Dan: Well, we were thinking we could make one of those side deals you guys are doing, so it would be all official.
WGA: Do you make feature films or TV shows that use or seek to use union talent?
Dan: Lord, no.
WGA: Then why would you need a side deal?
Dan: Remember how Howard Hughes bankrupted RKO Radio Pictures in the 1950s and they went out of business?
WGA: I guess.
Dan: We thought that since you announced a side deal with a studio that hasn't really made any movies since "Escapade in Japan" in 1957, you'd be able to swing something with us.
WGA: Is this a joke?
Dan: No, it's sureal.
WGA: Who are you?
Dan: Do I have to go through the whole thing again, or can I just give you the acronym?
WGA: I have things to do.
Dan: Like draw up our side deal? So we can go back to work?
WGA: Look, do whatever the f**k you want, just don't call here again.
(click)

Yay!! Back to work!! (and just in time for the weekend, too...)

Vince out.

Press Coverage of the MCLA Gallery 51 MySpace Show

Did you hear about the MCLA Gallery 51 MySpace Show that we were in?

Well here are some moving pictures from the show- dare I say motion pictures?



So, you get it? Well be prepared to un-get it as you watch this bafflingly truncated piece of media coverage...



Have you un-gotten it all yet? Well we're not done with you... Here's one more video which we can only describe as "deliberate" and "!" and also "7." Enjoy.



Thanks. Now I've got to return to striking.

Dan.

We're in Repeats... (Part 3)

In compliance with Union regulations, here's some surrealism we didn't make...



About 8 hours into this you may say "hey this is more dada than surreal..." and to that we say nothing. Because we're on strike and we're not allowed to say anything.

We're in Repeats... (Part 2)

Can't write- can't be a scab. Can only post video.



So tired of striking... soooo, soooo tired of striking. When this whole thing started, Vince told me this was a hunger strike- and I believed him- for 6 weeks. Then when I asked why all the writers hadn't died yet, he told me he was on a talking strike. Then he told me it was all a joke and he offered me some pizza.

It was good, but oh I hate him so...

Well I've written too much- less than 50 words and it doesn't count as writing. No space left for a signature.

We're in Repeats... (Part 1)

The strike is still on, kids, so there's no new surrealism from Dan and Vince... But it would be unfair for us to deny you of alll surrealism.

So we present repeats:

ON STRIKE!

I'm not supposed to be writing (apparently) but I wanted to let everyone know that Dan and Vince on behalf of the Practicing Surrealists Union of America (PSUA) will be on strike to show their support for the Writer's Guild of America.

What does this mean? Well, we're not going to be doing any surrealing until the WGA gets what they want.

Unity, Forever! Non-Unity, Never!

Oh, yeah, also, we have an art show coming up soon... more on that later... but that doesn't count as us 'working' see because, uh- hey, look at that over there!!!

Dan.