LA Times - Probably the Final Chapter...of Shame!!

Ok, so we heard back from XXX XXXX at the LA Times about the blatant re-use of our Surrealism for their Entertainment fodder. As you can probably infer from the tone of our opening sentence, here, things did not go as we'd planned. This is XXX XXXX's new statement after his "investigation" (notice the use of sarcastic quotation marks):

"Dear Dan & Vince,

Just to follow up: I've discussed this with Patrick Day and his editors and they are unfamiliar with your blog. They came up with this premise together, while brainstorming. So maybe great minds are thinking alike?

For what it's worth: What I'm also getting on this is that such a juxtaposition between movies and reality is not a totally brand-new one, though, and variations on it have been done in years past.

Thank you again for writing with this matter of concern to you.

XXX XXXX"

So they're taking the easy way out by claiming total ignorance of our blog, and probably even our existence. But notice their use of flattery. If they're so "ignorant" of us, how can they possibly comprehend the greatness of our minds?!?! People pleaded ignorance about this mortgage crisis thing, too, but that didn't mean it wasn't real.

That's right. We said it. We're real.

I know we put on this big show that we're actually Sur-real, but we're just as tangible as the day we were born. Maybe even more so, since we're now far more massive, and it's just possible that mass equates to degree of reality.

And, LA Times, you really hurt our feelings. Sniff. All we wanted was a little picture of Rene Magritte somewhere in the Entertainment section. But no.

Ok. Now we're really mad. We thought we'd try to barrage Patrick Day with all kinds of slanderous rumors, but it turns out he was too clever for us by having a name that's almost exactly the same as a holiday where everybody drinks too much. So whatever we said about him would get lost in the annals of Google and if anybody did find it, they'd assume it was some type of liquor hallucination and forget all about it.

So now, it appears, the only thing left to do is to take this to the people who have been affected most by this scandal -- the candidates. Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

Let Hollywood Be your Super Tuesday Guide!

As all of America knows, this could be the most important election of many of our lifetimes, and if the Democratic candidate gets elected this November, that person is guaranteed to make history by being either the first female or first African American president. A lot of people don’t know what to expect, should one of them reach the White House, so we thought we’d put together a handy-dandy guide to the future, as predicted by Hollywood films and TV shows that feature either an African American or female president. We hope this helps the democratic process this February 5th.

First, Barack Obama:
After the first African American president is elected, we can expect him to crack wise a lot (Head of State) while helping to foil several terrorist plots in only a few days (24), making our world and country a safer place. However, a large meteor will fall from space to destroy us (Deep Impact, The 5th Element), ushering in The Apocalypse. In the post-Apocalyptic wasteland that follows, greedy corporations will kill all the crops by watering them with sport drinks until a defrosted Army private from the past becomes an advisor to the President and the world is saved (Idiocracy).

Now, Hillary Clinton:
Initially, labor unrest will create a long period of silence where we have no idea what’s happening or what’s going to happen next (current season of 24). After that, faced with being the first First Gentleman, the guy who played The Absent-Minded Professor – in this case Robin Williams – will take control of the former First Lady’s social and gardening clubs (Kisses for my President). However, within the year, everyone will stop watching and the entire country will be cancelled (Commander in Chief).

Personally, we’re for Barack Obama. We think that reality show from Idiocracy, OWW! MY BALLS!! is a lot better than American Gladiators, My Dad is Better Than Your Dad, Moment of Truth, and even the Stuart Little movies.

And come on, we all saw what happened the last time we elected a white guy...

Vince out.