Blog Blog

Okay guys, we need to discuss the fact that all of our blogging recently has been about the fact that we don't blog. And now that it appears we're blogging again, well, it looks like we'll have to come up with something else to blog about. Perhaps we shall blog about how we consistently blog? So something like...

woke up today, typed a blog, this blog, that you're reading, see, now I'm almost done with it, I'm still typing it now, but I think I'm almost done... almost... alonst... ouch, made a typo in that last word... and... done!

So, clearly, this is going to be awesome!

Dan

Talk of a Corporate Take-Over is Exaggerated

Okay guys, we need to discuss this lack of blogging.

Check this out, do you guys want to buy a surreal story? Like you give us a few bucks and we tell you something weird- "she models for potato chips!" or whatever? Does that interest you?

Of course not!*

Turns out it doesn't really interest anyone. So we, Dan and Vince, have had to get real-world jobs to support the surrealing for a little while. It's a recession. Things are tough all over, and if we make machiatos during the day, it ensures that our art can remain free from any kind of corporate-ness... Think about it:

Last night we filled a fountain with Mountain Dew brand soda, and covered the ground around it with Doritos brand Dorito chips. It's like giant chips and queso in hyper-color and backwards. This surrealing is brought to you by Pepsi Co.**

Anyway, I've got to get back to this venti caramel mocha (making it, not drinking it) but, hey, we'll talk soon. Or whatevz... we'll get our crap together soon. Thanks for reading.

Dan

* If you do want to pay, let us know, we'll work something out.
** Note to self: Approach Pepsi Co. about Fountain prank.

Let's Change Topics!

"Hey, how come you guys never blog or Twitter anymore?"

Hey, how come your face?

"What?"

Shut up! Look at this Britney Spears did something weird. She said Merry Christmas to her audience- in March, what a cooky* broad!



Seriously, what a weird way to throw people off... let's call it surreal.

At least somebody's being surreal...

Dan

* No idea how to actually spell that word- if it's a real word, which I don't think it is, but I know it's not c-o-o-k-i-e, that's a different word. A delicious word.

Blog Time!

Okay, okay, okay, okay... It's ridiculous the lack of blogging from us, Dan and Vince, the last few days. We don't even have any sort of excuses- nothing. Just laziness.

So, how do we, Dan and Vince, make it up to you, our loyal readers?

Well, we have to blog. Blog like there's no tomorrow. Just blog, blog, blog, blog, blog.

Sure we tweet, but tweeting ain't blogging! Tweeting ain't nothing! We gotta blog!

So, how to blog? Well let's make sure we have a topic- everytime. Well, right now the topic is blogging. Done.

The topic needs to be current- blogging isn't some slow moving dinosaur like a newspaper or 24-hour news channel, blogging is now. Cool. None of the mainstream media is covering our lack of blogging. It's exclusive to here!

Then you need to express an opinion. It's ridiculous we don't blog more. Especially considering how easy it is. Done and done.

Great blog everyone! See you tomorrow!

Dan

Joaquzzzzzzzz

Hey look! Yawn. Joaquin did something...



Listen, dude, I know we were real supportive of this at first, but this really better be the third act of your movie because I think we're all a little sick of it.

Sort of like blogging, apparently.

Dan

The Unofficial Luis Awards Short Film Category

There are lots of surreal short films made every year. In fact the short film format is preferable to the feature when it comes to being surreal. And this is the exact reason we didn't have a "Best Short Film" category at the Luis Awards. We would, without a doubt, have over-looked something really fantastic and deserving.

But if we were to venture a guess at who would have won had we had this category based solely on what we HAD managed to see, it would have been Western Spaghetti by PES. you can see it up at the top of the page there.

But of course if we did say that- we would then receive tons of e-mails from all of you "what about blegh and blah blah? Didn't you see blah blah" and then we'd go "no" and then you'd go "well you should actually watch movies if you're going to give awards" and then we'd say "tell that to the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. Zing!" and then you'd go "huh?" and then we'd go "ask your mom. Zing!" and by then you'd just stop caring.

Dan

That Rob Lowe Thing EXPLAINED!

Dan here, sorry about my lack of posting- I've been nursing a Post-Luis hangover- it seriously took a week. Anyway, if you read the blog a lot you've noticed we've developed a temporary obsession with Rob Lowe's Oscar Opening, even though I'm not sure why... maybe it's because Joaquin just hasn't been that entertaining the last few days... I'm not sure.

Well, anyway, Jimmy Kimmel asked Rob Lowe about this atrocious crap- and then Rob Lowe talked about it. True story.



Dan

(h/t Deadline Hollywood Daily)

Introducing The Twitterverse Project

Everyone's favorite Surrealists, Dan and Vince, are attempting to create the most elaborate fiction the world has ever seen, and we need your help.

Welcome to the Twitterverse! The Twitterverse only has two rules: 1) You cannot be who you say you are, and 2) You cannot be doing what you say you're doing.*

Dan and I have seeded Twitter with fake people, who are living fake lives, and keeping us all updated about them via Twitter updates. We'd like you to play along, too.
Here's how:
1) go to Twitter and create a profile for someone who isn't you (and, ideally, that you've invented from scratch), then
2) search (the one at the bottom of the page, not the "Search for People" one) for "#twitv", and all the members of the Twitterverse should appear.
3) Start following somebody, then just start following everybody they're following, and bam! you're connected to the Twitterverse.
4) Be sure to include "#twitv" somewhere in all of your updates, that way everybody can easily track what's happening in our own little digital universe.

Basically, it's like a Role-Playing Game, except it pretends to be reality and doesn't have any weird geeky stigma attached to it (well, not yet...). Here's your chance to finally write that novel, except we're offering you a way less labor-intensive, more communal way to do it.

So come on, folks! Start conjuring, and start Twittering!

Vince out.

* We considered a third rule, which was to keep things at least nominally grounded in reality, because we didn't want a Twitter update from Bardorf the Large saying he'd just slain the Evil Hellbeast of Grishnak, or anything like that. But then we figured, what the hell? It's your universe, too, do what you will.