Let Hollywood Be your Super Tuesday Guide!

As all of America knows, this could be the most important election of many of our lifetimes, and if the Democratic candidate gets elected this November, that person is guaranteed to make history by being either the first female or first African American president. A lot of people don’t know what to expect, should one of them reach the White House, so we thought we’d put together a handy-dandy guide to the future, as predicted by Hollywood films and TV shows that feature either an African American or female president. We hope this helps the democratic process this February 5th.

First, Barack Obama:
After the first African American president is elected, we can expect him to crack wise a lot (Head of State) while helping to foil several terrorist plots in only a few days (24), making our world and country a safer place. However, a large meteor will fall from space to destroy us (Deep Impact, The 5th Element), ushering in The Apocalypse. In the post-Apocalyptic wasteland that follows, greedy corporations will kill all the crops by watering them with sport drinks until a defrosted Army private from the past becomes an advisor to the President and the world is saved (Idiocracy).

Now, Hillary Clinton:
Initially, labor unrest will create a long period of silence where we have no idea what’s happening or what’s going to happen next (current season of 24). After that, faced with being the first First Gentleman, the guy who played The Absent-Minded Professor – in this case Robin Williams – will take control of the former First Lady’s social and gardening clubs (Kisses for my President). However, within the year, everyone will stop watching and the entire country will be cancelled (Commander in Chief).

Personally, we’re for Barack Obama. We think that reality show from Idiocracy, OWW! MY BALLS!! is a lot better than American Gladiators, My Dad is Better Than Your Dad, Moment of Truth, and even the Stuart Little movies.

And come on, we all saw what happened the last time we elected a white guy...

Vince out.