Alright, I'll tell you right now, today's vandalism isn't as great as last times, but it did occur on the surrealism article, so I feel we're responsible for bringing it to you.
Here's an excerpt from the original article.
The [[Bureau of Surrealist Research]] (Centrale Surréaliste) was the Paris office where the Surrealist writers and artists gathered to meet, hold discussions, and conduct interviews with the goal of investigating speech under trance.
Here's the same section, post-vandalism:
The [[Bureau of Surrealist Research]] (Centrale Surréaliste) was the Paris office where the Surrealist writers and artists gathered to meet, hold discussions, and conduct interviews with the goal of investigating speech under trance.
Love Kandace && Karrly
Thanks for reading!
Dan.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
What Surreal Ain't
You hear the word “surreal” tossed around a lot these days, usually incorrectly, so here’s a quick primer, with real examples, on when we ought and ought not use the word “surreal.”
Any time you hear the word “surreal” used by an eyewitness of anything – Incorrect
Clouds swirling in a tight spiral, reaching down from the sky, and causing irreparable damage – That’s called “a tornado.”
People killed in sudden, unexpected ways – That’s called “tragic.”
Visiting somewhere in the world you never thought you’d go – That’s called “buying an airplane ticket.”
Winning a sporting event you thought you’d lose – That’s called “unexpected.”
The list goes on and you get the idea. Now for some recent, specific examples:
The VH1 Program “The Surreal Life” – Incorrect.
There’s nothing surreal about the least-known Arquette sibling and George Jefferson living in a house together unless they’re forced to strap donkeys to pianos and drag them across the living room. We all know what this show really is, so they might as well call a thing by its name: “Washed-Up Has-Been Real World Knockoff on a Competing Network.”
L.A. Times Travel Section headline – Incorrect
From the March 21 L.A. Times: “LAS VEGAS, THE CITY OF SURREAL SHOPPING. Shopping for that perfect G-string? Seeking the definitive NBA tipsheet — or a zebra-striped chaise longue shaped like a platform shoe?” I don’t want to speculate about what truly surreal shopping might be, but I know it would be far more frightening than going somewhere and exchanging money for tacky goods. Apart from the price tags, that’s the same kind of decidedly real shopping that happens at Wal-Marts all across the country every day. Always.
And here’s a shocking one from today’s St. Petersburg (FL) Times:
Headline: DALI MUSEUM’S START A BIT SURREAL ITSELF – Incorrect
The Salvador Dali Museum in Tampa Bay is celebrating its 25th anniversary. The museum began in 1982 in an abandoned marine warehouse as a venue to showcase the large Dali collection of Eleanor and Reynolds Morse. For the first five years, things didn’t go so well, but then they hired a new museum director in 1987, and he got the museum on its feet. The proper adjective to describe this story isn’t “surreal.” A better choice would be “mundane.”
Now in 1982, Dali was still alive. Knowing that, let’s see how we could fix this article, and make their application of the word “surreal” more appropriate:
“In 1982, Salvador Dali crossed the Atlantic in a homemade version of one of Leonardo DaVinci’s flying machines, and landed on the roof of an abandoned marine warehouse in Tampa Bay, Florida. After the hazardous journey, the 78-year-old Dali nearly succumbed to starvation and exhaustion, and was forced to eat his moustache to stay alive. A group of visiting pygmies attending a scuba diving academy found Dali and helped him turn the wreckage of his flying machine into a memorial to the amazing solo trip before helping him to a nearby zoo, where the artist was spoon-fed lemon ices until he regained his strength and attained return passage to Spain in exchange for doing a series of commercials for Braniff Airlines. Moved by the story of Dali’s trip, Eleanor and Reynolds Morse bought a number of his paintings and placed them in the abandoned Tampa warehouse, using only a hand-painted sign reading “Live Bait” as advertising. Now, 25 years later, the Salvador Dali Museum has become a cultural landmark.”
Now that would’ve been surreal.
Vince out.
Any time you hear the word “surreal” used by an eyewitness of anything – Incorrect
Clouds swirling in a tight spiral, reaching down from the sky, and causing irreparable damage – That’s called “a tornado.”
People killed in sudden, unexpected ways – That’s called “tragic.”
Visiting somewhere in the world you never thought you’d go – That’s called “buying an airplane ticket.”
Winning a sporting event you thought you’d lose – That’s called “unexpected.”
The list goes on and you get the idea. Now for some recent, specific examples:
The VH1 Program “The Surreal Life” – Incorrect.
There’s nothing surreal about the least-known Arquette sibling and George Jefferson living in a house together unless they’re forced to strap donkeys to pianos and drag them across the living room. We all know what this show really is, so they might as well call a thing by its name: “Washed-Up Has-Been Real World Knockoff on a Competing Network.”
L.A. Times Travel Section headline – Incorrect
From the March 21 L.A. Times: “LAS VEGAS, THE CITY OF SURREAL SHOPPING. Shopping for that perfect G-string? Seeking the definitive NBA tipsheet — or a zebra-striped chaise longue shaped like a platform shoe?” I don’t want to speculate about what truly surreal shopping might be, but I know it would be far more frightening than going somewhere and exchanging money for tacky goods. Apart from the price tags, that’s the same kind of decidedly real shopping that happens at Wal-Marts all across the country every day. Always.
And here’s a shocking one from today’s St. Petersburg (FL) Times:
Headline: DALI MUSEUM’S START A BIT SURREAL ITSELF – Incorrect
The Salvador Dali Museum in Tampa Bay is celebrating its 25th anniversary. The museum began in 1982 in an abandoned marine warehouse as a venue to showcase the large Dali collection of Eleanor and Reynolds Morse. For the first five years, things didn’t go so well, but then they hired a new museum director in 1987, and he got the museum on its feet. The proper adjective to describe this story isn’t “surreal.” A better choice would be “mundane.”
Now in 1982, Dali was still alive. Knowing that, let’s see how we could fix this article, and make their application of the word “surreal” more appropriate:
“In 1982, Salvador Dali crossed the Atlantic in a homemade version of one of Leonardo DaVinci’s flying machines, and landed on the roof of an abandoned marine warehouse in Tampa Bay, Florida. After the hazardous journey, the 78-year-old Dali nearly succumbed to starvation and exhaustion, and was forced to eat his moustache to stay alive. A group of visiting pygmies attending a scuba diving academy found Dali and helped him turn the wreckage of his flying machine into a memorial to the amazing solo trip before helping him to a nearby zoo, where the artist was spoon-fed lemon ices until he regained his strength and attained return passage to Spain in exchange for doing a series of commercials for Braniff Airlines. Moved by the story of Dali’s trip, Eleanor and Reynolds Morse bought a number of his paintings and placed them in the abandoned Tampa warehouse, using only a hand-painted sign reading “Live Bait” as advertising. Now, 25 years later, the Salvador Dali Museum has become a cultural landmark.”
Now that would’ve been surreal.
Vince out.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Vidz 4 Kidz!
Being on the cutting edge of technology, we have discovered a FANTASTIC new way to share videos. It's called YouTube (Pronounced Ewe-2b).
Please check out our YouTube page.
Thanks.
Please check out our YouTube page.
Thanks.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
Great Moments in Wikipedia Vandalism, Part 1
While we don't support Wikipedia Vandalism, we do appreciate the fact that it can sometimes go beyond misinformation and potty humor into something more. Something... surreal...
Today we look at Larry Charles, director of lthe film Borat and several episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm, he's also producer of the show Entourage, and was a writer for Seinfeld. Let's see what wikipedia says:
'''Larry [[Suck My Balls]]Charles''' (2278 - ) is an [[United StatesAmerican poo thrower, director for crappy movies. Larry was in jail for throwing poop and not wearing an cloths. He was the only man to have sex with George Bush. [[sitcom]] ''[[Seinfeld]]'', contributing some of the show's darkest and most absurd storylines, and as director of the film ''[[Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan]]''.
Born in 2278 in fucking land Charles performed stand-up sex moves in the 2007 until he was hired to be a pimp. This began a career in prostitution.
If you see any absurd Wiki-vandalism, let us know. But don't create your own! (That would be wrong, and not nearly as funny).
Dan.
Today we look at Larry Charles, director of lthe film Borat and several episodes of Curb Your Enthusiasm, he's also producer of the show Entourage, and was a writer for Seinfeld. Let's see what wikipedia says:
'''Larry [[Suck My Balls]]Charles''' (2278 - ) is an [[United StatesAmerican poo thrower, director for crappy movies. Larry was in jail for throwing poop and not wearing an cloths. He was the only man to have sex with George Bush. [[sitcom]] ''[[Seinfeld]]'', contributing some of the show's darkest and most absurd storylines, and as director of the film ''[[Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan]]''.
Born in 2278 in fucking land Charles performed stand-up sex moves in the 2007 until he was hired to be a pimp. This began a career in prostitution.
If you see any absurd Wiki-vandalism, let us know. But don't create your own! (That would be wrong, and not nearly as funny).
Dan.
Friday, February 23, 2007
The Dan and Vince Creative Retreat (with pics!)
We’re back.
That’s right, this semi-year’s Semi-Annual Dan & Vince Creative Retreat is in the books. We went to Antigua (and before you ask, yes, we saw Britney. We talked for a minute, gave her some tattoo ideas) and bounced ideas off the walls, off each other, off the dolphins, and we are now creatively re-energized. Re-energized. That’s the kind of word that needs its own font, you know? It’s so...expressive, energetic. I’m thinking something with lightning bolts.
Sorry. Got sidetracked. So we’re in Antigua...you know, I’m always a little surprised when people let us out of the country, and more so when they let us back in. Our passport photos were taken in Vegas after an evening that, in retrospect, we’re maybe not so proud of. I don’t know if Dan will show you his, but I’ll show you mine.
Ok, so we’re in Antigua, retreating, at this little bar that looks out over the ocean, me and Dan, and we’re watching the waves and the people in them, and we get this idea for a movie. It’s this:
You can see the outline of the glass of Scotch that gave me the idea, and also the signature (top right corner) of one of the people in the waves who gave me the idea, too.
First thing off the plane this morning, we get picked up and taken to a pitch meeting. This is a guy who passed on our "Dream-sequence idea", but liked it enough to want to hear what we came up with next. Without a word, we slid the napkin across the desk to him. He looked at it for a while, then we had this conversation.
Creative Exec: So it’s girls, with big boobs, and guns.
Vince: Right.
CE: Feminists might not like it.
Dan: No, it’s cool. Check out the one in the middle. She’s got glasses.
Vince: She’s the smart one.
Dan: She even gets two guns.
CE: Ok, makes sense. But, wait...how is this different from Charlie’s Angels?
Vince: Two things. One, there’s a smart one.
Dan: Right, that’s one. And two, there’s four girls, not three.
Vince: You just said a lot of numbers.
Dan: Pay attention. I told you that purple drink before we left was a bad idea.
Vince: It was good, it tasted like – excuse me.
Then I had to rush out, so I missed the last bit of the meeting, but long story short, he wrote us a big check and the movie's coming out next summer.
Vince out.
That’s right, this semi-year’s Semi-Annual Dan & Vince Creative Retreat is in the books. We went to Antigua (and before you ask, yes, we saw Britney. We talked for a minute, gave her some tattoo ideas) and bounced ideas off the walls, off each other, off the dolphins, and we are now creatively re-energized. Re-energized. That’s the kind of word that needs its own font, you know? It’s so...expressive, energetic. I’m thinking something with lightning bolts.
Sorry. Got sidetracked. So we’re in Antigua...you know, I’m always a little surprised when people let us out of the country, and more so when they let us back in. Our passport photos were taken in Vegas after an evening that, in retrospect, we’re maybe not so proud of. I don’t know if Dan will show you his, but I’ll show you mine.
Ok, so we’re in Antigua, retreating, at this little bar that looks out over the ocean, me and Dan, and we’re watching the waves and the people in them, and we get this idea for a movie. It’s this:
You can see the outline of the glass of Scotch that gave me the idea, and also the signature (top right corner) of one of the people in the waves who gave me the idea, too.
First thing off the plane this morning, we get picked up and taken to a pitch meeting. This is a guy who passed on our "Dream-sequence idea", but liked it enough to want to hear what we came up with next. Without a word, we slid the napkin across the desk to him. He looked at it for a while, then we had this conversation.
Creative Exec: So it’s girls, with big boobs, and guns.
Vince: Right.
CE: Feminists might not like it.
Dan: No, it’s cool. Check out the one in the middle. She’s got glasses.
Vince: She’s the smart one.
Dan: She even gets two guns.
CE: Ok, makes sense. But, wait...how is this different from Charlie’s Angels?
Vince: Two things. One, there’s a smart one.
Dan: Right, that’s one. And two, there’s four girls, not three.
Vince: You just said a lot of numbers.
Dan: Pay attention. I told you that purple drink before we left was a bad idea.
Vince: It was good, it tasted like – excuse me.
Then I had to rush out, so I missed the last bit of the meeting, but long story short, he wrote us a big check and the movie's coming out next summer.
Vince out.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Put on your mitts, 'cause we're pitching ideas
We had a pitch meeting at a studio (which shall remain nameless) today, and I think it went pretty great. Here’s the idea:
So there’s this guy, right? We’ll call him Chuck. And he’s swimming in this vast ocean of soup –that’s not imagery, we mean honest-to-God corn chowder – but he’s running out of energy, because corn chowder’s thick stuff, and he sees this buoy nearby. He swims for it. But when he reaches the buoy, it turns into a jug of milk. And the milk says “Things are not as they appear, no?” before it turns into an albatross and flies away, landing in the boat of an old sailor. So Chuck drowns.
Or at least, he goes under. Chuck’s freaking out. He’s gonna die. Because you can’t breathe in corn chowder. Matter of fact, you can’t breathe in any kind of chowder. So he decides he’s had enough, he’s made his peace, and he opens his mouth to swallow the lethal chowder...and nothing happens. He doesn’t die. He can breathe, even. But it’s getting dark as he descends, so he lights a match, starts moving toward these ethereal, singing voices. And then his match goes out. Darkness.
Chuck opens his eyes, and he’s in bed. He gets out of bed, puts on his slippers, brushes his teeth, eats two waffles, two strips of bacon, drinks a cup of OJ and a cup of coffee, little bit of cream, two sugar cubes (that’s right, he still uses cubes), gets dressed right after breakfast because I guess he’s one of those guys who showers at night, and then Chuck goes to work. He’s some kind of analyst, and he sits in a couple of meetings, that kind of thing, wraps up his day, sits in rush hour, makes it home where he takes his dog for a walk, watches a movie on cable, orders Chinese in, and turns in early.
But suddenly Chuck wakes up, and he’s surrounded by these mermaids. They live in the chowder, only it’s not chowder anymore, it’s regular water, but it’s murky. Chuck’s bound, but he meets a friendly fiddler crab who cuts him loose, even though it means death to do so. Chuck gets free and does battle with the Mer-king, vanquishing him, and breaking the magic spell that held all those Playboy Playmates in the (figurative) bondage of undersea slavery. So Chuck and the now fully-legged Playmates suddenly find themselves on a Polynesian island paradise, attended to hand and foot by helper monkeys. The Playmates are very, very grateful for Chuck’s bravery as we fade out.
So that’s the pitch. The whole movie’s a dream, but it’s got this “awake sequence” in it, which is backward from how it usually works, and I think we made a pretty good case for this being “the next big thing.”
Our agent said we should hear back by Monday.
Vince out.
So there’s this guy, right? We’ll call him Chuck. And he’s swimming in this vast ocean of soup –that’s not imagery, we mean honest-to-God corn chowder – but he’s running out of energy, because corn chowder’s thick stuff, and he sees this buoy nearby. He swims for it. But when he reaches the buoy, it turns into a jug of milk. And the milk says “Things are not as they appear, no?” before it turns into an albatross and flies away, landing in the boat of an old sailor. So Chuck drowns.
Or at least, he goes under. Chuck’s freaking out. He’s gonna die. Because you can’t breathe in corn chowder. Matter of fact, you can’t breathe in any kind of chowder. So he decides he’s had enough, he’s made his peace, and he opens his mouth to swallow the lethal chowder...and nothing happens. He doesn’t die. He can breathe, even. But it’s getting dark as he descends, so he lights a match, starts moving toward these ethereal, singing voices. And then his match goes out. Darkness.
Chuck opens his eyes, and he’s in bed. He gets out of bed, puts on his slippers, brushes his teeth, eats two waffles, two strips of bacon, drinks a cup of OJ and a cup of coffee, little bit of cream, two sugar cubes (that’s right, he still uses cubes), gets dressed right after breakfast because I guess he’s one of those guys who showers at night, and then Chuck goes to work. He’s some kind of analyst, and he sits in a couple of meetings, that kind of thing, wraps up his day, sits in rush hour, makes it home where he takes his dog for a walk, watches a movie on cable, orders Chinese in, and turns in early.
But suddenly Chuck wakes up, and he’s surrounded by these mermaids. They live in the chowder, only it’s not chowder anymore, it’s regular water, but it’s murky. Chuck’s bound, but he meets a friendly fiddler crab who cuts him loose, even though it means death to do so. Chuck gets free and does battle with the Mer-king, vanquishing him, and breaking the magic spell that held all those Playboy Playmates in the (figurative) bondage of undersea slavery. So Chuck and the now fully-legged Playmates suddenly find themselves on a Polynesian island paradise, attended to hand and foot by helper monkeys. The Playmates are very, very grateful for Chuck’s bravery as we fade out.
So that’s the pitch. The whole movie’s a dream, but it’s got this “awake sequence” in it, which is backward from how it usually works, and I think we made a pretty good case for this being “the next big thing.”
Our agent said we should hear back by Monday.
Vince out.
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