Grindcore (Clarification)

Dan here. Judging by the submissions we've been getting, I feel I need to clarify what we're looking for when we say "Ass-Terrible Grindcore Bands". We're not looking for smart music played by talented people, duh. If you're doing something innovative or the least bit interesting, please do not apply. Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music has already been used in art installations, co-opted by the art establishment, therefore its noise is not what we're looking for.

Read the following if you're thinking about applying, hopefully it will clear up some confusion.

"We're a 4-piece inspired by the work of the Dream Syndicate"
No. Don't apply.

"Inspired by John Cage's 'Happenings', our band plays unannounced gigs in the audience during arena rock shows."
That's good, but not for this.

"After graduating from the Rhode Island School of Design-"
Let me stop you right there...

"wear the fastest band in our high school. at the battle of the bands, we made a girl cry. mike (drums, vocls) plays double bass real fast. our biggest hit is called 'sayonara surprise' its about fight club. we also wrote a song about fight club. the demo's not good quality, mike's drums are so fast that his double bass made the microphone fall off the bass amp, so it all sounds like butt, just vocals and drums. sorry"
Ladies and gentlemen, we may have a winner.

Keep those tapes coming...