Marriage: The Surrealist Version

The surreal proposal:



The surreal wedding:



The surreal divorce:



Ta-da!

Dan

Dash Snow Tribute Project

So Dash Snow is dead. We're thinking of a tribute- but we're going to need some money... we're going to need enough money to buy a few of his pieces of art, the jizz ones. Because then (and this is where the tribute comes in) we are going to ejaculate on them.

Take that for what you will... But if anyone wants to donate (money, not semen), let us know...

What? Too Soon? Yeah, kind of, but that's the point- this wouldn't be funny (as if it is now) in two years when the fickle art world has picked someone new to "love/hate". Like Jimmy Jim Bill Steve, who cuts off his own weiner then paints with the blood from his severed member until he passes out and dies.* He'll be great.

Dan

* Not a real person, but don't let that stop anyone out there from starting a Wikipedia page for him.

Best Movie Ever?

Yeah. Best. Movie. Ever.



If any of our readers were planning on making movies, you might as well kill yourself because you're never going to make anything as great as Hot Tub Time Machine.
Seriously.

Dan

A Blog Not About Lady Gaga...

People keep wanting us to talk about Lady Gaga- and here's the thing. We don't wanna.

Yeah she wears weird outfits and puts on a crazy show. That's cool, we like that- we like that she's having fun with fashion to the point that she's mocking it and making the audience wonder what the point of it all is. But... first and foremost she's a musician- and her music is awful. Just terrible, worthless crap.

I doubt there will be a popular song worse than "Pokerface" this year- and I hate popular music so I think it's all terrible, but there is something especially scornful about the song's bland forgettable, verse and it's over-simplified chorus. "Pa-pa-pa". It's the sort of song a child would write- if a child were stupid.

So, you're not going to see any Lady Gaga on this blog, until:

A. She abandons music and admits that she is a performance artist above all else.
B. She writes music that isn't awful.

And, Gagadamnit! Can we stop throwing around the word "genius" everytime someone manages to write a pop song?

Dan

Best Story Ever?

Yeah, best story ever.



I mean granted I've heard variations on this story (except instead of an monkey, they thought it was an elf, and instead of in a bar, they put the kid in the closet... for some reason). Anyway, slow news day- surrealism wise.

Dan

THIS GUY! Will Save us All!

Earlier (like, months earlier, back when we were productive bloggers) we lamented about David Blaine squandering his super-powers, choosing to pee on himself instead of saving kids from Niagra Falls.

But forget about David Blaine, we're over him ever since we saw this video at VideoGum. This guy can save us all.

And, yeah, I know, this isn't really surrealism-related, I just wanted an excuse to post back to that David Blaine post, because I thought it was funny...

Dan

SURREALISM AROUND THE WORLD: FRANCE

Well, on this Bastille Day, God bless the French for keeping at it and trying to be Surreal, even if the results (as catalogued by this series) are somewhat mixed.

As a treat for Charles De Gaulle's birthday today, we're giving our loyal reader this video of French prankster Remi Gaillard recreating the opening scenes of SAVING PRIVATE RYAN...and, by extension, D-Day...on Normandy beach as (some nude) sunbathers and one very humourless golfer look on in confusion and irritation.



And finally, we leave you with this: C'est la fin des haricot verts.

La Marseillaise!

Vince out.